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2011-11-14T01:29:00.005+08:00

-It is those who are crazy enough to think about it, who are the ones who do it-

Humans and space changes, but time will never change. We are always evolving; everyday we grow more and more sophisticated in ways that matter to us, such as getting upgraded in skills, gaining monetary ground. Or so they claim. Or so most would like themselves to believe.

We focus on issues that matter to us, the bills that are not paid, the boss picking on you, the job not allowing you to fulfill your heart's desired needs. We chose this, this focus, and it will obviously be what we see. Handing you a magnifying glass, if you focus it on a small piece of text, it becomes big. Same thing, focusing on small problems will make them seemingly become big ones. It is strange that many would never take a step back, toss the magnifying glass away, and see the whole context as a whole, using our own naked eyes.

Whatever happened to those days, the days when we remember that the world is like a small playground and somehow, somewhere, we have forgotten how to play in it. The sight of children playing is proof that we have learnt to falsify smiles, rather than remember how it is done. We have not one, but two eyes. As the person ages, the eyes grow even more blind to what really matters in life. Just eyes on this topic, just imagine how much misuse we have placed in what we have "evolved" to become.

Our hands murder and steal, our feet kicking dirt into people's eyes, our tongues injecting a treacherous poison. Why has living which is actually simplistic, become so complicated?

We all have goals, ideals, visions, needs and wants in our hearts, whether or not we think about it, or know it. However, not everything is realistic, not everything is what it seems. We learn to conform, not adapt. We try to change, but innately we can't. The result is, we turn into something we do not even know anymore. Many will think they know, but actually it is a false reality they conjure up to justify it, or else their souls will shrill a deathly despair on realization.

Man created war, money, law and even marriage. And yet we allow such creations to control us in almost everything we do. Whoever had that right?

And thus, we fail to be real. We become face value, we become superficial. And we forget how to enjoy life like how it was supposed to be, with overwhelming expectations and crumbling confidences shaping how we see things, becoming our magnifying glass. We thought we were using our eyes, but our eyes receives images only after being filtered by perception. We fail to follow passion, we fail to love, we fail to believe.

In the end we gotta make a choice, of whether we choose to be who we really are. To be who we are not, we have to step out of the box. To find and be who we really are, we need to step out of yet another box. It's not easy, but everything you probably wanted, is outside the box, never inside. To be happy at the soul level, to be fulfilled, to be complete, to find the answers to the whispers of the heart.

To be, You.

I believe I have a vision like no other, a way of seeing the world not like anyone else, just like everyone else would have their own too. And this vision shall proclaim who I really am, how I am like, and what really matters to me.

To inspire hearts, to touch them. To change the world, to make it a better place.

2010-08-06T18:18:00.004+08:00

Well, It's been a while. What else can I really say except..

ORD LOH!

It really is/was a very strange experience, for me, for one, for many, and others still going through it. I really appreciate every single person who gave me the support and help that got me through this. Thank you to those from BMTC II Ninja, those in Sembawang camp, those in Nee soon camp, those at Gryphon company and not to forget, Clementi Medical Centre as well as all ORD-ed personel whom I know, who I am joining as of this very day.

I wanna say that many have given me a rather memorable experience and good memories that'll probably linger on for a long time, and that I will somehow or another, find today being a shift to a new chapter, filled with a feeling of reluctance to leave those days behind. The time in there would not have been as fun as it was, though it was dreadful at certain points, without the many that I have come into contact with.

I want to thank all of you from the deepest of depths within me, despite most who would not even get to read this.But let's stay in touch, somehow, via memories, or by meeting.

Till then, adios.

2010-02-15T23:57:00.000+08:00

2010-01-16T01:29:00.002+08:00

I feel like I am in some sort of trance, where time just slips by without me really feeling it. At this rate, I might be old before I know it. I want to enjoy the journey of life. I hope to be able to feel time, which i always lose track of.

Time is so strange. Lost time seems fast and plentiful, but boring times seem to take forever just to pass. Is there no balance for this?

I am taking my time to lay down what I want and have to do. The decision approaches, just as time passes. Love life, live life. I want my life to be as full as possible.

2010-01-03T00:15:00.003+08:00

It was new year day and all I could do was stare in camp at the tv and watch the fireworks and do the countdown in my heart. This somehow triggered a thought/resolution that one day I shall be in my own skyrise and at the top with a restaurant, dine and watch first hand with first class seats.

There's a lot on my mind yet I wanna narrow them down to what i truely want. Surely one day i'll find the answer to that. It's interesting about how I want to be caught up in media stuffs yet I know that could be a really tough road.

I'm still searching, for what I wanna do as a stepping stone. The goals are already there.

2009-12-20T23:59:00.002+08:00

Honestly I felt really happy today. I really wanna thank everyone who came for my birthday deeply, and they really made my day, just by being there.

It seems different. I don't know what, but something is. But i guess it's for the better.=)

2009-12-14T21:18:00.002+08:00

What's the most beautiful smiles you have seen that have the actual ability to make you lose all your stress and frustration?

They come from two sources in my opinion. Toddlers/kids are one, the other is harder to notice and see, but it's actually uncommon, often considered unfortunate. But that all the more makes them even more unique and precious. Who might these be? Search and you may find it. Look beyond what can be seen, and feel what can't be felt.

2009-12-13T22:57:00.002+08:00

It's been half a year, and I can't believe the time that has passed.

The end of national service is approaching, though still far, but ever approaching with a kind of scary acceleration. There is a sort of mixed feeling about being happy to complete it versus unhappy to complete it.

The apprehension builds as times of uncertainty is imminent unless great planning is done.

However the road's foggy beyond today.
Going for tomorrow might not go your way.
The going may get tough without signs and warning
Only your best, should you consider giving
Should you lose your way in the darkness
Fight your way through, against the heartless
The world is a cruel place
With many, as wastes
Befriend the trustworthy
Discard the unworthy
Find the answers, soaring through the clouds
Indeed I must, for crying out loud

To be frank, uncertainty is subjectively good or bad. It allows your tomorrow to be written, yet it ilicites fear for not knowing if the future would be good for you.

Life still goes on, and the latter never changes. So change what you can control, believing in a "might-as-well" situation.

I sincerely hope as I find the answers going through the days, the one I eventually arrive with, would be the one for me.

2009-10-24T03:12:00.002+08:00

Somehow, I still hope one day you'd clear up what really happened. I think of the best case scenario cause I want to respect you, but gut feelings tell me I was a fool, for a rather long while.

We all make mistakes, I look back not to dig out old problems, but to see if there is more room for improvement from back then. Yet, sometimes, you just wanna know the truth.

How often does truth hurt? Almost always, cause we usually expect and hope for the best.

2009-10-10T13:52:00.002+08:00

I still have nightmares..and somehow feels uneasy thinking what could have happened and the approach someone has taken to certain things.

Life's somehow stagnated now, feels almost as though I have no life. But I know I'm alive and living, tears come out of me, so does blood. I trust with such assurances I can go on knowing that someday somehow, something will happen. What exactly do I wish for, to happen?

Sometimes losing things, freedom, or even losing your imprisonment, makes you feel lost. It throws you into an empty page of your life's book, and now, you have the apprehension to take up the pen and begin writing your own story. What causes us to ever have the courage to pick up that pen? or would we even ever muster that to do so?

We all seek comfort, but never seek whatever that gives that comfort. If our approach was wrong all along, shouldn't we put down our weapons, stop fighting, reorganise and then decide what to do? All along, we may have just been fighting against ourselves, that's why we never win.

Perhaps, all along, life was a playground, but somehow, somewhere, we forgot how to play like little children.

2009-09-19T13:01:00.003+08:00

So, why did we go from relationship to relationship, promising "forever love", and actually forget the previous and then say it to a new one? Isn't it strange if one day an ex comes back and asks you "but didn't you promise me a long time ago? it's weird huh? haha". With such promises in place, how could we move on and find a new one just like that?

So in the end, they were just empty promises? Perhaps the timing of such promises of love should truely be vouched for only in the later stages. Where's the impact of the promise, when it's said over and over, when it's supposed to be done during marriage itself?

So why do we say it? Was it our insecurity, that wanted us to hear it? If so, finding that security by the right means would be much more fruitful and appropriate.

I'd say, perhaps even less than 10% of people in the world has actually felt true love. True love isn't one sided, it is not just needing a person to protect or support you. It should be something, indescribable. I myself have not felt it yet.

Who'd you wanna spend you whole life with? I'm sure that person would have to be really special.. And there are billions of people out there..the right match, is very unlikely nearby you.

2009-09-18T14:49:00.002+08:00

I believe I have found the answer to what's bothering me. There are times in life when you do feel that you have already formed a resolve, a route in mind of how you want to form your purpose to certain stuffs. It's almost like a personal promise to yourself on top of whoever you have promised certain stuffs. I.e. A promise to someone and you promise yourself to fulfill it.

And comes the day people leave you for whatever reasons, as it usually does in life. Then you find yourself stuck with a promise, or certain things you wanna fulfill but you can't, and what's worse, there is no point anymore!

Then you look back at things, yet you do not know if you're wishing time would turn back so you can be with them again cause you want to be with them, or cause you just want to go back and fulfill certain stuffs.

Given a second chance to go back in time and fulfill something which has no point, would you do it?

What do we really regret when people leaves? And in the end, is it a pain we choose to dissolve but forgetting?

We're living to remember every yesterday so our tomorrow would be good. So if life is about having memories and then leaving your mark on earth, why forget stuff? We, in the end, I believe, have to learn to see that whatever was bad and happened, was not as bad as we think. In fact, it might even be beautiful.

2009-09-18T01:39:00.002+08:00

What do we truely require to make ourselves truely happy? Is it simple laughter with the most innocent friends? Is it always the case that growing up just makes things complicated,or did we just turn out that way cause we don't know how to handle things?

What do we really live for? Ourselves? If so, then living ourselves would only mean that tomorrow if you're dead, no one will be there to remember you. For others? Then what if they take advantage of you?

Do we live, to write a legacy, for achievements, or for the sake of living? Why do we fear death? cause we will not be able to carry out our dreams? or is it an instinct to make us more likely to survive? could this instinct be making us even more dead than we think as we cling onto life?

Or all in all, we all just need to feel that we exist? that would make us feel alive already?..

life truely is amazing, at creating dilemmas. But we all know one day, we have to find that answer, as we have to provide that shelter we comfortably live in today. And to bring that food to the table, the presents to the christmas trees, the wisdom for tomorrow to the young, the faith in life, we're forced to have..

2009-09-16T13:15:00.002+08:00

Are you a boy or a man? Are you a girl or a woman? What makes the difference? The aspects are probably worlds apart. But it all starts with, which do you wanna be? Bluntly put, staying in comfort all the way, or getting out there and showing who you are?

2009-09-05T01:03:00.002+08:00

I think one of a guy's biggest sin is being overly egoistic. It's not wrong to make mistakes, but it's definitely not right to choose to stay in a state of making the same mistakes. Insanity is doing the same things over and over but expecting a different outcome. An Ego-maniac can never learn.

Many people expect different results, but stick to a similar plan, or fear change. It's strange, but the right question to ask them here is, "Are you insane?"

2009-08-29T00:55:00.001+08:00

I see what I want in the future, relatively clearly, getting clearer. If i stumble on the way and lose sight, someone, slap me awake.

2009-08-28T00:12:00.002+08:00

Everyone is born beautiful, with the fact that you were the result of an amazing union, and that everyone is made of the same composition. The things that truely differ us, are just will,spirit,love and hate and wisdom.

But will you allow the things that differ us to make you an ugly person, even though the word beautiful is still your middle name? It is these things that truely make who you are. Fight for what you truely want, have spirit in what you do, love the right things as well as try to do away with hate. Also, always seek out wisdom from those who have acquired it before you.

Seeing the real beauty of others, always comes from the eyes of the beholder. It is truely the viewer's perception on whether he or she can see beyond what most people can't.

If you're a viewer/critic, choose to see beyond, deep into the people. Look at their positives before looking at their negatives. Find positives about their negatives. This way you'll learn to love people better. And what goes around probably comes around=)

If you're a person being judged, know that no matter what, you are you and that you are beautiful no matter what people think of you. Notice I used the word "think"? That's cause people don't know you, yet, or probably will never know you. How could people know you inside out, when most of the time, almost none of us actually knows what exactly we are inside ourselves?

And if you think you're overweight, and you mind it, then work on it! Your weight is probably an indicator of whether you're lazy, or just someone who loves to indulge. If you're unhappy about something, then do something about it. No one else can, but you. If you're happy about being overweight or in this case, big, then why care what others say to begin with? Your acne is probably due to poor diet habits and sleep. Almost everything is linked to behavior.

But this does not apply for those who have serious medical condition. If it's truely unavoidable, then no matter what, just be happy with yourself, and improve yourself in other ways, many other ways. Read up stuffs so you can help others with problems, get exposure to many things, live how you wanna live.

And if you think you're good looking, this might be a good indicator that you should get out and start learning to improve yourself in other areas. Having something to feel good about yourself might make you neglect every other aspect of life that actually matter. Learn that everything when you learn stuffs, instead of knowing more, you should realise that the more you learn, you realise the less you know.

Always have the drive to learn! And there's no better teacher than the streets, yourself and mistakes.

2009-08-23T14:38:00.000+08:00

I think I've slept for way too long, too much of my life. It's time to wake up and do things that will allow me to feel that I have accomplished things. Thinking back on all the times that has passed, it feels almost as though time has gone down the drain. It's like thinking of collecting back the time lost but it can never be retrieved. I have to do what I want to, focus on them and at least try my best to make best use of my time. Now is the time.

2009-08-23T12:54:00.000+08:00

Whatever disappointments that comes in life, whatever respect that you lose, never lose that self respect for yourself that may hinder you for the rest of your life. This is what my aunt said.

For me, it is more important to prepare yourself in a way that no matter what, you will know how to find back that self respect and recover from it much stronger, for we have to always expect what we don't want to happen most, to happen. Only then we can safely say, that we're ready for the catastrophe.

Life's about how you live it, not about how you want it. Live it the way you want, and you've made it how you want it. Select wisely what you want for life, make a decision, and go with it. Never look back, for you'll only trip. Fight, press on.

2009-08-19T18:43:00.001+08:00

It's sad that some people actually act chivalrous and claim that people need to grow up when they wanted to keep others in the dark. Well, you wanted to keep it all to yourself, then it's still your choice. You thought you did me good, but in fact, Yes, you did, I found out the hard way finally, and I never regretted my decision to pry you at long last. I may have lost it, I admit I am in the wrong and went mad for flaring up, but I am definitely able to take this sort of mental beating. And I am glad to finally see who you really are.

What kinda girl will continually receive stuffs, letters and ,messages on facebook ,and actually fail to clear the misunderstanding with the minimum " I have moved on, please don't contact me anymore". In fact, "don't contact me anymore" is childish enough. I believe at the very least we should be friends. It's either you can't face me, and/or you just wanted to avoid the problem altogether, perhaps too scared I'd flare up too much. Or perhaps you selfishly wanted to move on without me. Or you were so angry with me still that you didn't even want to bother. But I do wish to say, don't do something like this in future. It looks bad on you, not me.

In any case, I was in the wrong. It's time to learn from it. Everything was rushed right from the beginning. I chose the wrong person, and I knew it, ever since the day she wanted to leave me the days I entered army. I still have to thank you for that trauma which honestly made me a stronger person. And well, things didn't click, we quarrelled, I didn't relent enough, perhaps many times I didn't understand enough. Perhaps I was too possessive, and you never had your own time for your friends. I was insecure, partly cause of how you nearly wanted to dump me on oct 2008. However, I have to weigh what she has done as well. I was unappreciated for many little things I did, often misunderstood, even over small things like saying food tastes weird. Besides, since things didn't work out, we sorta forced it. Misunderstandings grew, and more and more, she feared somehow to ever confront me, bottling up emotions. Avoiding problems, never getting things solved, holding so much grudges and never tried to find a truce or an even ground. Problems piling up, with the added treatment I was said to have treated you like a "dog", that you have to follow everything I say. I did wish at times you'd speak up much more anyways.

But I'd like to say that if you were to ever succeed in any relationship, you'd best learn to speak up and stop the "I don't know" thing. The relationship isn't cause of the relationship, it's cause of the people involved.. and..I believe we stuck to each other too much...but I enjoyed your company a lot no matter what.

In any case, it's not about pointing finger anymore. Even pointing the finger will lead it to pointing at thin air. Both parties are gone, and I'd pretty much guess that both are rather happy about it as well. The only thing that should be done now is for myself to learn whatever valueable lesson I can from this. It'll definitely better prepare me for the future, and know what to look for in someone I'd wanna love. I also got to learn to be much more sensitive, and I truly admit that I am not sensitive.

I believe we were both blind. I hope this past relationship will open your eyes to choosing who you really want as well, if not, perhaps the next one or asap. I learnt that in a relationship, spontaneous wanting to stay together and flaunt your partner not for the looks is of utmost importance. There is truely a ring of truth to the saying, that communication and trust are the standing pillars to a relationship. But deeper than that, there'll always be a need to understand each other first, and dating each other to the point where the two actually really decide that the person in front of them, is truely who they want. You'll never know if the person you like now will someone you truely want to be with forever in such a short time. If you truely love someone, hold back and watch them more, then decide. That way, you're really loving them, cause you'd never want to get too into with them and then hurting them.

Holding off and taking your time to choose. There are so many out there, why pick one so near and available so easily? It's probably the worst choice available. Choosing on impulse and emotions such as needing comfort or even companionship from someone, especially in your most dire times of needs, are most likely going to get you the worst kind of partners. Simply cause the feelings of affection isn't love to begin with. In your times of calm, when you need no love, need to give no love, and you truely find someone you like and want to just love the person for who she is, that's when you should get to know the person even more, and even more, hold back the thought of a relationship first.

Wanting to find true love is going to take much more than putting effort into relationships. More than that, it's gonna take effort in finding the right person. This lesson is invaluable, to myself and my business sense.

To that someone, thank you for a wonderful past relationship. No matter how bad it was, at least we had a time when it was a pure happy relationship. Still, I have to say, I don't deserve your respect as much as you don't deserve mine. But I still wish you all the best. I wish you to become one of the best interior designers, and have a wonderful happy life filled with love and friends. And I'd like to take this chance to give one last apology, for whatever hurt, and whatever things I have said in the past, and everything I have wronged you or done wrong to you, or cursed you in a bad way. I'm sorry.

P.S. I thank you for the offer, but really, I don't need the mirror as described. And whether or not you read this post, I don't really care. There's only one thing I know I have for you, and that's "I'm Sorry".

2009-08-18T20:07:00.001+08:00

It's great to have seen the truth from a pair of unseasoned eyes. It's takes quite a lot to keep the faith, but then what can you expect from someone who's young and falls in love with you within one month?

That's never love, they are just girls who need guy's comfort, and they themselves will never find love. I have decided that things takes time, no matter what. Finding true love is something that will take effort and dedication, and it'll definitely not come from girls who are relatively desperate for guy attention. They're just pathetic.

Whatever makes the world go round, it sure is making retribution do the same. The root to all problems, everything in life, was never decided by fate, luck, parents etc etc. Everything boils back down to the people involved.

Thus self improvement will be the main focus now, as well as aiming high for the desired desires. Nothing else in this world is more important that learning from mistakes. It definitely beats bitching about something after it's gone. And if you've fought on hard to make things work, in what way have you not cherished what was there?

I despise people who think they know what they're saying, especially if they have never gone through anything or even worse, giving advice out of "compassion" when they really do not know anything at all. It doesn't matter if many people says the same opinion. Cause there are times when the whole world is wrong. But it's a pity, not many people in the world, actually think about the source of people's words in their mouth before they actually put it to action. And that is where influence comes in. Fight influence, and you have won. Be yourself, decide for yourself, and not from what others say.

You have to live your own life, not let life live you. Indecisiveness can kill you, cause it can stall you for a whole lifetime without you knowing. Fighting for what you want after you are able to make a pure decision, is the only way you'd ever really achieve something. Apparently, it'll take a lot of maturity and tact to actually materialise this into your very being. What's worth fighting for today, has to be worth fighting for tomorrow. That's how you decide what's worth it.

Shit happens, but being prepared will always let you have the flush lever at your very fingertips. Shit comes, being prepared allows you to pull back, and you'll find yourself new and fresh again.

Preparation, is the best way to fight risk. What can risk be compared to preparation? Would you even feel the risk if you're prepared?

2009-08-17T23:32:00.001+08:00

How often do you start thinking after many years, about the ones you loved who are no longer around? They are now just somewhere distant, their existence in our very own deepest of memories, and no where else. Have we chosen to forget them without knowing, and occasionally we remember them from the back of our memories?

This cycle of life happens all the time, getting chopped and terminated at any point in time. It just happens. And sooner or later we become the mainstream of people running the world, our lives and need to impart what we know to the youngsters.

With every single being on earth living every second at any moment, let's respect that they're here and we all have something to gain in each other's company, at the very least, their companionship or their presence. Let's make it our duty, that whatever that is to be honoured about that person, to be imparted to others so that you will forever carry a legacy in some form, for the person who was once here.

We should be more sensitive to all around us for what they say today, might just be a memory tomorrow. But at least it's a memory, and it lives in you. Don't let it die. It's the only final resting place it has got, don't remove it.

Love is what makes the world go round, but what makes memories go round, is you, myself, and everyone. It's always tough to face whatever we've lost, but remembering it and then facing it, is the only way we're gonna recover what we've lost in ourselves. And that is, healing the holes that's left in the heart, rather than leaving the holes to pile up and eventually letting your heart break.

I pay tribute, Great Grandma, Grandpa, Grandma, Ms Ho, and so many more who are not around anymore. Perhaps rest in peace has been overly said. But in anycase, live eternally, in happiness. That's the best we can ever wish for anyone, living or dead.

2009-08-16T23:33:00.001+08:00

It's a new chapter in life. It's gonna be hard believing in true love, but I am sure it'll happen one day.

Never felt more like a fool in my life, for someone who never told me when she already got someone new. It's tough to accept, but the pain in my heart is almost addictive to this point, cause it was always there.

There's no better chance to better myself, and the time is now.

And...CHEERS! Ng Si Ying is officially my mei!!

=D 8D

2009-08-13T00:17:00.004+08:00

I don't know if what you've been writing on your blog has been about me, but I really have to say this. It's not that I ain't making a move. I just cant find a way to.

Things have become so unapproachable. The msn is still blocked. no contact whatsoever.. I don't even know if you're talking about me.. I am not asking you to literally tell me what you want, but I at least hope you'd at least give me a signal that it's me you're taking about and you want me to be there for you. I don't even know what to do. at least show some signs, more obvious ones, if not I will never ever know what's going on.

I really can't be there for you if you don't let me.

If it has nothing to do with me, take that this post is invisible.

2009-07-25T00:13:00.002+08:00

It's that day of the month again, I wanna wish someone but technically I cant. Is truely saying I love you ever gonna enough...and enough for what?

2009-07-21T00:24:00.001+08:00

I don't know how to tell you that I still love only you..

2009-07-19T17:37:00.003+08:00

Been doing lots of various trainings...kinda. Since I don't have someone special to share my joy and time with.

It's tough. I hope you're doing well.

And my future plans are probably getting more and more clear everyday. It may slip backwards time and again, but I am sure I am making some net progress towards a tomorrow, my tomorrow.

I really wish you'd be in my tomorrow, but tomorrow is gonna come whether I like it or not. So it's best that I fight and do my best with whatever time I have now. A better life definitely awaits. Whether or not it'll be even more complete would be..hard to say.

I never swayed. I have not. It's you that I want. For now, no other.

2009-07-18T02:15:00.002+08:00

So many things going on, my head is just spinning with imbalance.

& I feel like apologising over and over again, but the problem and situation feels so unapproachable.

I want to bang the wall and just fall flat.

I just wanna know what you're doing now..and if you're well.

2009-07-11T00:24:00.003+08:00

omg! i played golf for the first time in my life today. It was fun!...omg..lol..

I wanna play tennis, bowling and many other stuffs too!=D

and...

There's something missing in my heart..It's such anxiety..I wonder and wonder, but never going to get anywhere. I am and have moved on, with you in my heart always.

I always wonder, what you're thinking of now, from time to time.. and if I am also on your mind.

hai...oh well! it's time to play more golf tomorrow!=D

2009-06-30T00:02:00.001+08:00

I wish you'd say that everything we had was priceless, but I really don't know what's going on right now. I hope it's just not worthless. I can only pray for your happiness and well being, while suffering in silence because I don't have a choice. I never chose to love you after all; I just did. There was never a choice in this for me.

I just wanted to mutually understand each other, but perhaps we failed to find the space and time for that.

If there is something you're hating me for, I hope you can find somewhere in your heart to at least forgive me, whatever the reason. For you to do this, you probably hate me so much. Still, I hope that one day we'd talk once again.

And, Happy 6th month Anniversary to the metallic object which sealed our hearts, resting on our fourth finger, for around 5 months. It's truly the only item we had as a couple after our shirts, my shirt, got dyed a different colour..

2009-06-25T00:01:00.000+08:00

It's the 25th once again. A special day, whether or not it is anymore. I feel quite unhappy and not normal to not be able to wish you, yet I cant sms or msn due to certain reasons...

20months..=)

It's been rather fun with stuffs happening. It looks as though you've been having a good time also..so I'm happy as this is what I wished for.

Life's such a challenge. I miss the old days, and dream for the new ones.

2009-06-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

I really wanted to sing 爱的主旋律 at least once with you.

2009-06-20T21:36:00.004+08:00

People may always screw up, but that does not mean they don't love you. Things happen for a reason, for you to get over it and learn not to fall over it.

To be honest, I am really confused if I am being selfish or not. True enough you have said clearly that day. But I really never wanted it despite what I said on my part also. So am I being selfish for being there for you though we're not together anymore, or are you being selfish for not even being bothered about me? I never once really blamed you for anything, despite whatever I say. It's such a regret for everything..

I have done whatever I can as someone who was and wanted to be your special someone. I believe I have done my duties, despite screwing up and also have complied to your wishes to as much as I can. All I wish for, is the best for you now. For you to decide what you want with your life.

Perhaps you really don't want me anymore and thus ignore me so you wouldn't have to tell me so once again and hurt me. But I really wish for us to be talking normally at least like the first time we met.

I still want us to at least be friends. I hope I would not be something you'd run away from for the rest of your life, or something you'd avoid. If I am a source of hatred, I hope it'd be appeased soon. If I am just an eyesore, I hope you'd find some strength to use your eyedrops soon. If I am a source bad memories, I hope you'd remember the good ones instead.

I'll always cherish our moments together, our personal promises and statements of love..

You've made my life colourful with your liking of sunflower and the colour orange. I thank you for the wonderful times you've given me.

I'll be cheering you from afar. Take care, and live well.

2009-06-18T22:53:00.003+08:00

It's been a while. Things seem to be drifting away, but that's far from the truth.

I wonder how you are, I wonder what you're thinking of tonight. I wonder.

All in all, I have only 2 requests if you should ever read this.

First, no matter what happens, please decide for yourself what you truely want. What others say are just poison. Things they like to say but don't know what's going on..so,decide for yourself. Remember that anyone who has not been through it, only can give dubious answers. I want you to be happy, not be in regret later on. Commitment is fuck, what matters most now, is you know what you want.

Second, never forget whatever I have taught/warned you about. I may not be right, but do decide for yourself what is.

2009-06-17T00:03:00.004+08:00

Thanks all for being there for me...Shaun/Yida and co..San and co..samuel. It has indeed been hard, this period.

And happy ord! To Yida and...liyong...hope you guys excel in all endeavours.

Life's as usual, but much more colourful now, being in s4 branch. And with everything's that's happening, I guess it's been a good retreat to really think things through of what I truely want. It's time to work towards what I can get..

What's mine, will come to me. I believe so, or perhaps I want it so.

I was having a slight blankout, being quite tired. It made me think somehow, what would I fear most losing on my body, a physical thing. I had a rather striking answer..yet the thing is seemingly unimportant.

I fear losing, my fourth finger.

2009-06-10T22:08:00.005+08:00

The only thing I want most now in the world, is to put your hand in mine, my cheek to your cheek and to really say that I love you. I truely regret everything and I want to make up for them.

It is true that I have lost the ability to put that smile on your face..but it was truely always all I ever wanted. I do hope however, that something, somewhere, someone out there would put that smile on you and make sure you'll be alright when I cant be there to do it anymore.

If I had to travel a thousand miles to get to you, I would. And I will wait for you.

2009-06-06T02:15:00.001+08:00

Even at town where all the babes are, nothing is in them as what I see in you. I only want you and I truely miss you.

I love my baby en. take care and do your best for school

2009-06-02T00:12:00.002+08:00

I'm back, to normal hopefully.

In anycase, been through quite a bit recently. Have been thinking of the true purpose of various things as well as learning a few stuffs on the way.

One thing that's learnt, is that things have to be done in a "just do it" manner. But I still stand strong that just doing it isn't enough. Learn, to just do it, well.

Another, being too nice to everyone indeed is a bad point, but then again, nothing is bad so long as you make the bad point in your advantage and it becomes good.

Nothing is negative unless the receiver thinks it is. A problem is only a problem when the person having it thinks it is. So, in the end, the problem is always back to whomever is having it. So what is the problem? Or should I say "Who" is the problem?

Stress is self created. There can be no stress without the person having it. So is the stress to blame or the person having it to be blamed for having it?

Admitting defeat is sometimes important. To most, they would think you've lost the fight. However, I think you have won, swallowing the ego which might otherwise swallow you whole. Live to fight for another day, you can never build a dream in heaven or hell. Your spirit and will may die today, but you will come back stronger the next, just like how failure is a stepping stone to success.

2009-05-30T15:53:00.003+08:00

It was harsh yet aggressive. It was tough yet slashing. But it's no further from the truth. If you think of only the bad and never the little good stuff that I do, then you'd only see that all I have done is bad and treated you like dirt. I never once said friends were more important, yet yours was blatantly outspoken. I may have given the impression but that was just a coward in me in the past to allow others to know that I was the disgrace to have left the holy sanctuary. I was a bastard to make you feel like the disgrace indirectly, but it was something that I never meant for. I wonder why do I seem to make so many mistakes in life choices, perhaps the streetsmartness in me is inexistent all along, just bullshit.

I was just the coward all along. Shoot me.

2009-05-30T12:14:00.001+08:00

As I make my way around the routes I choose to go, I only find myself hoping to see you. Yet again, I fear seeing you for who knows there may be someone else standing beside you. I fear going near places where you might be, all just for this reason.

2009-05-29T13:13:00.004+08:00

When I switched on this device, I saw a picture with someone's face..an important someone. The next thing I knew, sorrow was filling me up from the bottom to the brim, making me shed a tear. I don't know if it was due to missing her or cause of the disrespect and hurt she has put me through.

I feel silly. Really silly. I stressed myself out so much in the past to help her with whatever cash problems and now I wonder if it was worth it.

3 weeks to a month in advance, I told her of a special day where me and her would go double date with my close friend's date. Since that day, I had been training at the camp's gym, going through pains on my injuries as well as extreme breathless moments in my life. Quite a few times to the point of almost fainting. All in all, is to make sure that I have a much more appealing body and appearance to make her feel happy to have me, making others envious of her.

Being rejected to the outing almost at last minute, I began to think whether she has really tried her best to be there for this special day. I found her going friend's birthday's till really late like 1130pm. Going volleyball training 3 times on the week of the outing itself and telling me she doesn't have the time. I know in my heart that it has been bullshit. It was all simply her deciding which events would be more important to her and that's why she said that she can't go out late even if she went for the outing, yet she could stay and reach home at 11plus for her friend's birthday party.

You'd say what the fuck would go this kinda place during non holiday period. Well, all I can say it's something call a "Family Day". I want you so much and need you so well that I have already more or less decided we'd be a family some day, that's why the family day.

If you go to a volleyball training 3 times a week in sequential days, OF COURSE YOU' D BE FUCKING TIRED.

I don't think my course to be smart and it being tough, but at least I managed it in a way to be able to have time for stuff.

There isn't a little bit of respect shed for me to be honest, as I have given you such a long before hand notice and you still not mananging stuff in a way that you'd have time for at least this one day. I have not even talked about sms-ing, which could be non-existent for the whole day. It seriously does not take more than 20
seconds to reply at least something.

If you can't manage your time, don't take up so many stuffs.

I think we really need a break for a few months. This thing will NOT work out at all, not cause of how much time you have for me, but how you manage it all in all.

I never needed you, but I loved you so much that now I need you. For now, all I can say is that you are losing me, not cause I intend to be finding someone new or even looking at them, but because of the way I feel I am treated. I am dirt, once again, just like that time before your o' levels when you said you wanted to have your own time with your friends. I am not your plaything, please do not neglect me.

I really feel like shit, cause you made me feel so. You feel like shit, cause you made yourself feel so. And perhaps the family thingy, was all naive and crap. In fact, the advertisement is even on your blog.

I know I miss you, but I don't know if you feel the same.

2009-04-23T13:52:00.002+08:00

Am I really myself, or have I been out of it for a really really long time? Whatever it is, I am beginning to wonder if I am who I think I am. I feel like I am far from capable, yet I feel that I am nowhere near the limit.

To be exact, I feel intimidated, somehow. Yet I do not feel like I am losing out. I wonder what's with these north and south pole feelings I have.

2009-04-21T23:06:00.003+08:00

The times has forced upon me the calling to call on my mind to think of the..expected. And I find myself highly irritated somehow by the numerous numbers of useless people on earth. A person who is useless to me isn't someone who cant make money, someone who is good with their grades, but is actually someone who is a complete moron, does stupid things, gets happy and elated over dumb stuff and the list goes on.

The irritants of life has to be changed somehow and someway. The method to do so, is still under concoction.

To live without learning isn't quite living at all. I believe we all are born on this world, to learn from past mistakes of history so we have more better things for tomorrow. Yet the world repeats over the same things, people obliviously blinding themselves to the truth with unsupported influence and propaganda.

Given today and the forgotten yesterday, we strive on for the basic needs of all humans. This mindset is literally stripping us away of our higher level intellect, which we should at least be tapping on to make better use of ourselves. Given tomorrow, can you even comprehend it and use it for today to better prepare yourself to handling it?

Think for yourself, perhaps laziness to think might be the downfall of us humans.

2009-04-20T00:18:00.002+08:00

The true way to not falling, is not when you open your eyes to the truth and watch where you thread, but is when you consistently close your eyes due to ignorance and avoidance.

The only reason you could be here today, is either you have been closing ur eyes to the horrors of the world and been avoiding every pithole, or you have already dropped into at least one of them and realised that you can actually still stand up.

So it's either you choose to fight and learn how not to lose anymore, or keep losing in a way that you didnt realise you were in a fight to begin with.

The fight with one's ownself is something that everyone has to face no matter their intellect level. But to leave things without learning is the true regret that most people make without even feeling that regret, simply cause it's the easy way out.

There is a reason people do not listen to advice. It's simply cause the way we relate to them is not exactly how they relate to themselves. Even a movie with an indepth meaning can, give two individuals two different values or morals to work on. So what more would a chunk of vague words affect someone? Well most likely not in the way that was composed.

I sometimes wonder if I can do what it takes to change maybe a part of the world. My dearests would know what I want in life apart from having a status of businessman. I hope that it leads to newer and better doors, which will not break down and disappear before I really make it there to see to their opening.

2009-01-30T23:39:00.002+08:00

Couple things..i wonder if they're just a waste of efforts/money and also promises. They only signify but do nothing significant.

Your request seriously "can be done". I'll just keep quiet all day like i am on a wheelchair being a vegetable.

But deep down i just know I will suffer, somehow, somewhere, anyhow. It's not tolerating, it's not resisting, it is literally suffering.

I can go into that life, yes i can. But would you want that even if you know that I am suffering? Would your reasons really be enough to overlook and just treat everything as normal?

I don't know what to do. I have no intentions of causing hurt, but if i don't say what i want to, do what i want to,know what i want, the hurt will come at my expense. How can some compromise be gotten? How..

2008-10-08T00:04:00.003+08:00

If going to NS enables me a wish, I wish my friends to be of good well being.

lol.

Buaiiiiiiieeeeee.

2008-09-21T00:44:00.001+08:00

If a girl cries in front of you,
it means that she couldn't take it anymore.
If you take her hand,
she would stay with you for the rest of your life;
If you let her go,
she couldn't go back to being herself anymore.

A girl wont cry easily,
Except in front of the person
who she love the most,
she becomes weak.

A girl wont cry easily,
only when she loves you the most,
she put down her ego.

Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you
please hold her hands firmly,
she's the one who would stay
with you for the rest of your life.

Guys, if a girl cries bcoz of you,
please dont give her up,
maybe bcoz of your decision,
you ruin her life.

When she cry rite in front of you,
When she cry bcoz of you,
Look into her eyes,
Can u see n feel the pain n hurt she's feeling?

Think.
Which other girl have cried
wif pure sincerity,
Infront of you,
And bcoz of you?
She cry not because she is weak,
She cry not bcoz she wan sympathy or pity,
She cry,
Because crying silently is no longer possible,
the pain,hurt,n agony have
become too big a burden to be kept inside.

Guys,
Think about it,
If a girl cry her heart out 2 you,
And all because of you,
Its time to look back on wat u have done,
Only you will know the answer to it.

Do consider it,
Coz one day,
It may be too late for regrets,
It may be too late to say "im sorry".

To my friends...
Ponder this message seriously.
Dont do dis to a girl,
You may regret for the rest of your life.
Maybe in your life,
she's the only one that love
YOU the most.

2008-09-18T21:48:00.000+08:00

Two random stories..Forgot where they came from though.

There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl. This
romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes as a gift to his girl.

Although, at that time he was just a small fry in his company, his
future didn't seem too bright, they were very happy together. Until
one day, his girl told him she was going to Paris and will never come
back. She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for
both of them, so they went their own ways there and then...

Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence, he
worked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind just to make
something out of himself.

Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends, this guy had
set up his own company ..

You never fail until you stop trying. One rainy day, while this guy
was driving, he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella in the rain
walking to some destination. Even with the umbrella, they were still
drenched. It didn't take him long to realize they were his girl's
parents.

With a heart in getting back at them, he drove slowly beside the
couple, wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan. He wanted them
to know that he wasn't the same any more; he had his own company, car,
condo, etc. He made it! What he saw next confused him, the couple was
walking towards a cemetery, and so he got out of his car and
followed...and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly as
ever at him from her tombstone and he saw his paper cranes right
beside her...

Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened. They
explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was ill with
cancer. She had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not
want to be his obstacle... therefore she had chosen to leave him.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you wa nt them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. She had wanted
her parents to put his paper cranes beside her, because, if the day
comes when fate brings him to her again...he can take some of those
back with him...

Once you have loved, you will always love. For what's in your mind may
escape but what's in your heart will remain forever.

The guy just wept...The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting
right beside her knowing you can't have her, see her or be with her
ever again.........hope you understand.

Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much to
you, for you might wake up one morning losing that person who you
thought meant nothing to you.

KINDNESS Pays !

One day, a poor boy who was selling goods from door to door to pay his
way through school, found he had only one thin dime left, and he was
hungry.
He decided he would ask for a meal at the next house. However, he lost
his nerve when a lovely young woman opened the door. Instead of a meal
he asked for a drink of water. She thought he looked hungry so brought
him a large glass of milk. He drank it slowly, and then asked, "How
much do I owe you?"

"You don't owe me anything," she replied "Mother has taught us never
to accept payment for a kindness." He said... "Then I thank you from
my heart."

As Howard Kelly left that house, he not only felt; stronger
physically, but his faith in God and man was strong also. He had been
ready to give up and quit.

Years later that young woman became critically ill. The local doctors
were baffled. They finally sent her to the big city, where they called
in specialists to study her rare disease. Dr. Howard Kelly was called
in for the consultation. When he heard the name of the town she came
from, a strange light filled his eyes.
Immediately he rose and went down the hall of the hospital to her room.
Dressed in his doctor's gown he went in to see her. He recognized her
at once. He went back to the consultation room determined to do his
best to save her life. From that day he gave special attention to the
case.

After a long struggle, the battle was won. Dr. Kelly requested the
business office to pass the final bill to him for approval. He looked
at it, then wrote something on the edge and the bill was sent to her
room.
She feared to open it, for she was sure it would take the rest of her
life to pay for it all. Finally, she looked, and something caught ;
her attention on the side as She read these words.....

"Paid in full with one glass of milk." (Signed) Dr. Howard Kelly.

Tears of joy flooded her eyes as her happy heart prayed: "Thank You,
GOD, that Your love has spread abroad through human hearts and hands."

2008-08-09T01:10:00.003+08:00

Talked to my aunt and chatted for a rather long time. Issues about life and stuff..she said the two people she felt she has treated properly enough in life, and is happy about, is her mum and me.

Had to agree with her, that in life, your greatest enemy is not the person you hate most, disagree with most or fight with most. It is yourself!

Be it you're the best in the world, and everything you do is good. But a setback immediately destroys you, then that itself shows you cannot handle the stress. The true test then, has arrived. The true test obviously being that, whether you can take that setback and get over the hurdle without breaking down.

How interesting eh? Given that almost every challenge you receive in life, you actually are testing your own self whether you can overcome it, or you succumb to it.

A true winner wins his own battles, that is why there is always something called an "inner battle".

At the end of the day, the man/woman you look at, is in the mirror. Would you be able to look at that person, saying and meaning it; "this person is a strong and successful person, not by richest and abilities, but by mentality of being able to take whatever dark clouds that life decides to cast over him/her"?

You may do something witty, something good, something you are proud of. But the most important things, are those that make you feel a sense of satisfaction. Not the kind of satisfaction which you get just cause you finished doing something at long last, but the kind of satisfaction which you get by overcoming stuff and that you have done your best. Also it could be the type of satisfaction that you have done to help another person.

Such a satisfaction is something like teaching, not to show off, but to impart.

The seeds you sow will give returns in various indirect ways. Even if the returns don't come when you wish it would, await it as not every harvest is plentiful.

For you to say a harvest is plentiful, you must have had an experience of poor harvest first. Taste the bad, you will know the good. Experience the most shitty things and you will know how to appreciate the good stuff.

Fail and you have found a way to avoid failure. If you give up on something, that's where the road to the "Something" you are aiming for, ends. Letting a dream die due to failures is actually letting yourself down.

Competitiveness in life, drives you to go on. But always remember how you thread the waters, what mindset you have and what do you expect to get out of it.

The opposite of love is ignorance. And ignorance itself is one of the reason why people never learn. Never couple this with a mindset that assumes everything is a joke.

This post is highly opinionated. Read with your own opinions in mind, not blindly, as that's what the whole post is about. THINK for yourself..

2008-06-07T00:35:00.003+08:00

There is no secret ingredient to making good noodles~

Something is special when you think it is special. Otherwise, it wont be special no matter how much you try to change it.

You must believe, no matter what, that the special person in you, needs no special ingredient cause you ARE you.

Believe and you will.

The faithful will be as bold as a lion. Do not avoid failures as they are what sets you apart from the inexperienced, even if they seem successful.

I shall and must do well. It's not a burden I place on myself, but an insight i place now wanna have, to be able to entertain the people I try to connect with and make everyone enjoy their time. Afterall they did take time off to lisen to me right?

What good is there of nervousness? If only it's possible of being able to toss it away like it was a part of yourself. It helps in no way, but not having any of it shows or may depict you as an ingenuine performer. Having some of it is good,but i hope it does not grip me to the point that it shows so much like a sore thumb.

Believe..believe..believe..ROAR!

2008-06-05T01:34:00.005+08:00

Things I need to learn:

The faithful shall be as bold as a lion, facing failures as stepping stones to success.

Singing is an unselfish act.

If singing is something I love, then it would be something I would not take lying down.

..Sometimes I wish I had a prolific person in the business telling me some words that would totally change how I view stage forever..

But perhaps that has yet to come. Perhaps that's..something to be earned after all..

2008-03-25T23:40:00.000+08:00

2008-03-04T20:29:00.002+08:00

Wow..3 Possible job opportunities..Apparel shop, Admin and one cd shop. Perhaps I am quite good at finding jobs afterall.=X Even found two for my two friends..Grats to their employment=x.

Went for an incredible lesson, think of it as "moment of truth". I can indeed sing, and rather well too i guess.heh. I actually have a recording of how I kinda sound like, but that's without any warmups and training.=/ The lesson costed a bomb,but that's fine cause i learnt tons of invalueable lessons. But woah, the guy's house was like..some UAE's person's palace I must say, even though it was just a HDB flat.

Was surprised to find that the person after me was actually a student from peter as well. But oh well, I guess working on technique then finally working on style is way better. Or perhaps style is just an addition you'll probably get after acquiring the right technique. Dumb cold in the morning was suppressed by me brewing some green tea of "high quality" ( it was rather expensive). Glad I made it cause I had to vocalise.

Learnt SO MUCH from that one lesson. Gotta say it's more than worth it I suppose. However, I have been shown, what's wrong, what can be done to improve certain stuff for the time being, but that still leaves me needing to work on the voice ultimately. Working hard is definitely a must..I will work hard.

Been quite occupied lately despite having my exams over and stuff. Can't freaking believe I am a graduate now. It's like, the last paper being Structural and Functional Genomics, I went in late(as usual), But i was so anxious and nervous that I practically rushed and spammed through the whole paper. It was crazy really. But, It's finally over! It was...a feeling of excitement, yet, loss and apprehension as the road seems to be covered with mist after the exams. Who knows where my road leads into the future and what I will be in the future. However, I do know I have a direction. That's all that matters, cause with a direction, I can at least go somewhere, rather than being aimless and not doing anything at all.

Currently on Hair treatment, hopefully i don't go botak totally. But it seems that the medicine is working. But fortunately I was prepared for it, cause I have a condition that is considered very early for someone of my age to get. Gladly I was actually just acceptant on the treatment, though it may worsen the condition for the time being.

Life's good for now, made a couple of other friends here and there. And what I would consider good company, not those kind that really treat you like some arcade machine and toss you aside once they leave their "playground".

To Qian, a friend who feels down and perhaps unsure, apprehensive and quite scared that people always betray you or something. It's fine=). Nothing lasts forever, but so long we know that we treasure most of the time when and with what we have. Just be sure that you know what you're doing and you make the best use out of what you know and whatever time you have. Don't care what other people say, for you are you, and if you allow them to affect your happiness, that may have just well been what they wanted to cause you to.

Don't fret, don't give in. Be as happy as you can, and take things by the day. Problems don't go away when you sadden, rather, they just seem to crumble over you more and more with each level of sadness. Worry never solved a problem or stopped a rainy day from happening. It never turned situations around or even make them better. It does nothing good, so why worry? Why be sad, in a similar case? There's just no point.

But remember, you'll always have a friend who thinks about you. and that's me=). Finally, don't be oversuspicious. If not, even those who seem suspicious but never did anything wrong or anything to let you down, may avoid you for they themselves may feel implicated.

Hope everyone else is fine as well. And grats on Nanyang poly business school on "self proclaimed" graduation as well.

Leave the problems, cause they weigh you down, not to keep you on your feet, but to prevent you from..................soaring.

2008-02-24T19:39:00.002+08:00

I cried, for wanting to study, but I cant.

I have nothing left in me. I don't know what's wrong with me.Sickness..go away..

Sorry to whom i shouted at..

2008-02-24T01:24:00.003+08:00

Exams ending..equals poly ending..

I want it to end due to stress, but I want it not to end for convenience of not needing to think of the future and what am I gonna do with my life.

I know what I like, I know what I want. But am I able to achieve that? I won't know unless I try, but there's no guarantee either that I'll succeed even with trying really hard.

What do I do? University? It's a turn off. I am glad I have NS to stall time and give me more perspective to life and possibly give me more insights and ideas to what I should venture into next time.

Life's...such a funny thing. People would give anything, fight with their lives, for a FUTURE. And yet we brood so much over yesterday. And we don't give our all today.

We want a good future, we give our all today, and learn from our yesterday.

That's how we have to advance in life. First you decide and then you follow through, and it's the only way to actually ever get things done.

My mum scolded me "Fuck Off". lol...yea..I'll fuck off one day. Just you see.

2008-02-21T00:36:00.003+08:00

Sometimes you're alone
Cause you need someone
Not to be there
But to believe

Sometimes you're alone
Not cause no one's there
But you fail to appreciate
who's there for you

Sometimes you're alone
you look around
but you never noticed
the friend that was already there

Sometimes you're surrounded
By many friends of many types
Only to realise
They're never there for you

Sometimes you're surrounded
By people who use you
But don't realise
That you're learning from being gullible

Sometimes you're surrounded
By people you consider your best friends
Have you treasured them enough
if they were to disappear one day?

Sometimes you're lost
Cause you're confused
over the actions
of the ones you love

Sometimes you're lost
cause the road is bleak
the signs are faded
the roads splits a fork

Sometimes you're lost
Not cause there's no direction
But it seems that
there's no where to go

No matter what you do
You're going somewhere
cause you're living each day
with new lessons every day

Do not quit ,what you seek
Do not let the motivation leak
Do not falter in your drive
Do not disappoint, the people who believe in you

The strength and courage
The inspiration and motivation to do better
Sometimes all it takes
Is just someone to believe in you

What many of us need, is just someone whom you consider an emotional support, to believe in what you're doing. It will feel like the world crashing down on you, if that belief ever faded away...

2008-02-20T21:36:00.002+08:00

Joss sticks are an accursed item in this world. Get rid of them. They should be banished, and everything that burns. Combustion adds to global warming and should be stopped.

Allergy prone people, we need to pity on us!

zzz

2008-02-18T22:35:00.002+08:00

I am drained. Not a drain, but there's one connected to me. It's called...A drain..LOL..no it's called EXAMS. sucks.

Free me, stress and vocally. I want to fly and soar to heights never seen before.

But leaves with the question...would I ever miss the view from the top?

"performers' blues"...

I hope I can get there, and stay there. I have so much I wanna do. I have so much to dedicate, sing for, and...whatever.

I want to be who I am.

2008-02-11T22:00:00.000+08:00

I define "music lover" as "Someone who listens to the same music, and learns every detail and doesn't get sick of a song he/she calls good ". In other words, it doesn't include song hoppers. And song hoppers are those who get sick of certain songs very easily, not those kind who listen to many songs to get more exposure.

Can I be a book discarder? I am sure I want to be one.

Studying sucks.

2008-02-06T23:01:00.000+08:00

I have painful swallowing sessions and allergy attacks as well as backache..! ARGH.

Been a while since I have been practicing, oh man. But I have learnt so much.

Today saw the "blind guy", he sang here without you, when you say nothing at all, every breath you take, better man and a few more which I heard. I was actually admiring how he just did his thing. He has this really...distinctively charming voice. Really strikes envy.

Something told me to give my guitar pick to him, but I didn't in the end...And I wanted to have a quick chat with him actually. Cause somehow I believe I will be able to learn something from him just by talking.

Walked around amk hub and there was this guy who flipped a mannequin's skirt up, and got whacked by the girlfriend. Not only that, she saw that I saw what he did, and marked me and avoided me cause she/they damn pai seh i think.

She didn't see me standing outside the shop while she walked past the mannequin once again and smacked the guy, "hey you know just now that guy he saw what you did leh!"..And immediately she saw me and quickly turned away. I wanted to laugh. LOL.

Anyway they avoided me like the devil after a while, and kept an eye out for me.WHAT THE.

Quite a horrible day, but rewarding in certain ways. Watching the guy perform as a busker on the streets, inspired me to work even harder. I wanted to talk to him and ask his story. Just had a feeling I had something to learn from him really badly. or maybe something like, talking to him will somehow impart some of his "talent" to me.

I think I have a long way to go.

2008-02-01T14:22:00.000+08:00

I played 枫, 晴天 and sleeping with the lights on.

If i never asked questions then I would never have known if people ever knew what the hell I was playing without me vocalising.

I feel disappointed and...I don't know, not much attention or memory is allocated to me? somehow.

Paper soon, and I can still blog. Shows that studying is really damned sian to me. Just feel that I should study harder but somehow, the focus ain't there.

Anyway, read something today that reinforced my determination. Slow and steady reaches the finish line.

To me,there's no finish line, but it's a goal I hope to achieve, someday.

Working hard will be the only ticket to getting there. And for sure, I am sure, I am getting somewhere.

Hopefully I can someday also overcome my apprehension and hopefully show the real side and comfortable me on stage, exhuming the love to perform and entertain people genuinely.

2008-01-31T21:15:00.000+08:00

I feel like I am far from appreciated. I am working really hard, trying to do better always. But..

First thing which is non-related, I quarreled with someone today. Some stupid communication problem, started with my slippery tongue. Just don't know how to feel after the incident cause it was like, I don't know if it was entirely my fault. At least don't angry for so long arh..all these just make me feel like tearing, for such a thing to happen. Crying over spilt milk perhaps?

Ran into the two of em while walking from school to a bus stop in amk. Somehow I didn't really know how to react.

Met the "blind guy" again. Helped him up his bus 86. And he thought I was from Secondary school.heh. And the god-damned 169 took like 35mins to come. Screw 6:30-7:00pm rush hour when people slow down the bus service.

Got home excited to practice. After that had a friend call me and I played the guitar and sang some. My mum came in, and called what I play "Kao Bei".

Got rather pissed off and so on, had a short quarrel. Lost the mood to play anything. Played 2 choruses, 1 full song. One I was trying to teach, two of my favorites. The person of the phone doesn't even know which song I was playing. I hung up with disappointment and agony.

First my mum said what I played is Kao Bei, and next a frequent listener of what I play doesn't know what I am playing.

Am I playing for naught? Am I even being appreciated, that I am trying my best to do my best musically? Am I wasting my time, excitedly trying to play for people over the phone cause I simply love to?

I just feel..somehow lost. Fading away. Friends, so called, or maybe friends, are fading away, drawing the curtains of the shadows. Hmm..Did I really have much real friends to begin with?

I really wonder..

My heart feels heavy.

Is my determination to success faltering?

Is all I have dreamed of gonna stay that way, being a dream?

Is there ever a time when I can really succeed and just do what I love to do?

What's in store for me...?

2008-01-28T21:28:00.000+08:00

Went for a lecture early today for a business module.Had some interesting stuff.

Failure is the path to success. No pain no gain. It's all about whether you can fail and still get up and continue fighting on. It's only when you fail that you learn the biggest lessons you will ever learn. If you fail and just give up, it shows that you are weak in the spirit.

So like the external lecturer talked about, RJC students. He mentioned that some of them can get really really proud, looking down on the rest. They've had success after success. His question was, "Can they get up after a failure? I don't think so".

Many of us have gone through "hell", so in a positive way, we have a sort of edge over them.

And think of working hard for something you want this way. If the road was paved for you so you could easily reach that goal, then what's so special about you as anyone can do it? If everyone reaches their goal so easily, the goal won't be a goal anymore cause the rewards has to be split for everyone, just like lottery.

Ever heard the chinese idiom, "shou zhu dai tu". Don't wait for that reward/chance to come to you, work and you'll get there someday.

Be yourself, but also be somebody. To do that, sweat it, not slack it.

2008-01-26T23:53:00.000+08:00

Who ever heard of tug-o-war?

What's the essence of winning in such a game? It's coordination/communication and team spirit! Imagine, one person at the back started saying " die la,they so muscular". His weakened spirit will also result in weaker strength. Not to mention he also became a wet blanket to everyone and makes the whole team lose spirit.

When he first became a pessimist, he already resigned himself to loss. This already compromises the whole team of one person worth of strength. People who admit defeat have already lost, whether they have or have not lost in terms of status.

So are you a winner? Do you have the audacious personality to drive yourself to become a winner?

Take small steps. You'll get there someday. And the very first step is simply not to be pessimistic.

Never take a shortcut, for a short term prize. Always go for the bigger and better prize at the end of the rainbow. Take the long cut, but with small determined steps. And you'll one day find that you never regretted taking that road.

Simple analogy; In singing, you can always scream your way through the whole song. Why not take the long cut, slowly and patiently train your vocals to a point when you can do it relaxed and way more beautifully?

What drives you?

What drives you to your goals? dreams?

Whatever it is, let it be passion.

Do not let it be achievements, money, fame.

Passion is the fuel you have that will drive you past your limits, soar and bring you to what you have dreamed of.

Doing anything without passion...would probably be futile.

2008-01-26T03:08:00.001+08:00

Feeling dead as hell..Medicine and medicine and medicine..GAH!

Thomas Alva Edison didn't fail 2000 times making a light bulb. He just found 2000 ways NOT to make a light bulb.

Failures do not mean the end. You've just found a new way not to go into the road of failure!

What's failure? It's if you quit. Imagine Thomas Alva Edison quitted at the 1999th bulb. Would he have made the light bulb then? You never know when the next attempt of yours, will make you hit the jackpot.=)

Don't quit whatever you love and have started. It will be the biggest regret in your life.

And his favorite quote was ; "Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration"-Thomas Alva Edison

Work hard for whatever you want/desire/dream of folks!

2008-01-24T23:20:00.000+08:00

What's one of the biggest source of people who are failures? - quitters

Never quit, especially your dreams. A regret may result from "defered success",in other words, failing in some point of time. However, the biggest regret would eventually be giving up the entire thing to begin with.

Quit the right things, and fight on for the dreams you have.

Make the right decision...To anyone whom it may concern.

2008-01-22T22:29:00.000+08:00

Slams and bangs, stupid moron loser should just go and die. Egoistic and childish, idler/jobless for more than 10 years, 46years old. What a useless oath. Should be rid off this earth, stupid uncle.

The toilet has a theme today : "patience is a virtue". Why is this so? Read on.

My fucking uncle came home and the toilet door of his got screwed up cause my mum cleaned the toilets for the new year. He made a big fuss and banged the door like he needed to close it to escape from some bioterrorist airbourne virus attack. Next he scolded my mum for cleaning the toilet. Next, he started bathing and my aunt who was cleaning her room for the new year, was washing her fan at the kitchen sink. Next thing, he slammed the door and shouted over about the water being inefficient and like she's always using water.

My aunt scolded him back for saying " i'm not your kia". And stuff.

Next thing, he went to the household tap master control and turned the knob to a lower pressure of water supplied into the house. The water at full in my house now is like almost dripping.

What kinda childish moron act is that? What a way to get revenge with the same treatment. Yet, causing more problems to other people in the house. Dumb fark's now outside in the living room watching TV, which is unusual. Probably he's there sitting and being a sadist to see how long my aunt would take to bathe.

As for me, I took about 2 mins just to douse my hair with water. Muthafarger. Loser beyond hope.

And now for some nonsense..

The quote of "give and take", should be changed to "give and receive".

Money is the root of all evil should be changed to "money is the reason people sucummb to evil".

A man should have 5 Cs. I think 5 ain't enough.

As a man age, his likeliness of giving a shiny headbutt increases.

As a woman age, the chances of her making a name in the house as "life's biggest regret" increases.

Behind every successful man is a great woman, because the man was successful.=p

Behind every successful woman is a very potent man.=X (obviously it depends what your success meant)

Humans have a sperm count of a hamster, so how impotent can we get?

Life's so fragile that we should have a label on our butt or something " FRAGILE. HANDLE WITH CARE"

Take care and never assume the best out of any situation. This will always lead to better growth as a person, and better preparedness for any emergencies.

-Daniel-

2008-01-20T17:25:00.000+08:00

New skin! Thanks to Jessie SYX =)

Having bad throat..damned..cookies ain't good for throat XD

=x

2008-01-19T02:24:00.000+08:00

The more you demand from yourself, the less you're gonna reap from yourself.

The smaller the steps you take at a time, the further you're more likely to go.

The wider you attempt to spread your legs to reach that step on the stairway, the more likely you'll lose balance and go crashing down. Not to mention it takes more effort.

The more time you spend on what you love, the more time you actually spend being happy.

The less dreams you have in life, the chances of succeeding decreases diminishing.

The conviction you have on certain things in life, leads to what actually matters to you in your heart.

The love you exhibit is the love you're going to reap.

The seads planted in the soil grows because it takes its time to do so.

Choosing to deal with stress is the wrong approach as it is handling the situation well that solves it.

If stars were in the night sky, it doesn't mean it wouldn't rain. It just means that you have to enjoy the view while you can, and not regret later.

If the moon can reflect so brightly, why can't your personality reflect so well after your own parents?

If we can do whatever we want, why can't we lick our elbow?

If life's a pain in the ass, then why isn't the ass hurting all the time?

If a kiss wasn't made to last, why does it usually start first?

If eyes were made for things that can be seen, what do we have for the unseen?

The more you think, the more your neurons work. Talk about exercise.

You are what you eat, for they become building blocks for making/repairing you.

Love runs when you seek, but comes to you when you give.

Why do we need eyebrows? To keep the eyes warm?

If no one loves the undeserved, who's gonna rescue them in critical times?

These are just some random thoughts. Cooldown of the brain for the day? Maybe.
Stay tuned for perhaps more nonsensical stuff.

2008-01-17T22:14:00.000+08:00

It's alright if you live a life without success, but never live one with regrets.

Just feel that these days things are getting more and more saturated in content that I am actually overflowing with stress, that i practically exhume it.

Gotta work hard for whatever you want. The biggest barrier in life is self. And most problems start from self. If something like homework is a problem, then it's the self causing the problem as he can't finish fast enough or don't feel like doing. If tiredness is a problem, it's the person's fault for not sleeping enough and so on.

Patience, cultivation of skills is something to be done. I do believe in my own opinion that certain things do require a basal amount of skills and familiarity, as well as what people term as "talent".

However, I really need to learn patience. It's something so easily missed yet essential for even getting to certain heights you always dreamed of. Things to achieve are always goals set by the person themselves. If you ever benchmarked yourself with a goal with the use of a comparison of someone else's abilities, then you most probably have already made an unrealistic goal that would probably cause you to falter in your faith and persistence to ever even improve on what you're doing.

Exertion, is never the right way to get things done, or improve on things. This basically stem out of the word itself as being impatience, overworking and so on.

Work hard, but work smart.

A car has an engine, and it is powered by the gasoline (gas). A car may look good on the outside, but if the engine is badly conditioned or maintained, or on the verge of breaking down, forcing more gas into it will not cause it to work faster/better at all. In fact, you risk breaking it down. A singer(car outlook), with his vocal chords(engine), and breath support(gas), fits the analogy of the car. So what if the singer looks really great, when his vocal chords are badly trained and so on, producing bad tones. So what if he had a powerful diaphragm to be able to pump/push more air through the vocal chords? The vocal chords will just break down sooner or later like the engine of the car.

Work on your engine, before adding more gas, bringing you past your limits and soar to the next level.

-Daniel-

2007-10-23T01:55:00.001+08:00

Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.
Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.
Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?
If love isn't a game, why are there so many players?
Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.
You can only go as far as you push!
Actions speak louder than words.
The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.
Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.
Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it.
A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.
Some people make the world special by just being in it.
Best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us. When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.

True friendship never ends.
Friends are forever.

Good friends are like stars....you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
Don't frown, you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
Most people walk in and out of your life, but only friends leave footprints in your heart.

If you love something...let it go.
If it comes back to you its yours....
If it doesn't then it never was.

A kiss is just a kiss until you find the one you love. A hug is just a hug until its from the one you're thinking of. A dream is just a dream until you make it come true. LOVE is just a word until its proven to you.

show this message to everyone special in your life, even the people who really make you mad sometimes. Remember, every minute spent angry is sixty seconds of happiness wasted.

To realize
The value of a sister
Ask someone
Who doesn't have one.

To realize
The value of ten years:
Ask a newly
Divorced couple.

To realize
The value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize
The value of one year:
Ask a student who
Has failed a final exam.

To realize
The value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.

To realize
The value of one month:
Ask a mother
who has given birth to
A premature baby.

To realize
The value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize
The value of one hour:
Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.

To realize
The value of one minute:
Ask a person
Who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize
The value of one-second:
Ask a person
Who has survived an accident...

To realize
The value of one millisecond:
Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics

Time waits for no one.

Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when
you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend:
Lose one

2007-09-20T03:22:00.001+08:00

OMG!!! I THINK I AM MORE CHIO THAN BOA!!! LOL XD

2007-08-13T00:33:00.000+08:00

My heart really hurts now. Andy chua you have really done it. No need to feel triumphant with that ego of yours. I am just condemning you now even more. You are the worst kinda lifeform i have ever seen in my life. Not only are you beyond hope, but u are below them all. The worst of the worst, the despicable of the despicable..I ain't got much to say to you..

Memories flow back from the distant past, one that regrets not being lived again, but you can never turn back time. Memories that can never be forgotten especially when they were dear to you. What does memories mean to you if you didn't like it? But what if you loved it, the person, or whatever, what would the memories mean to you? It would be something so precious to you. Looking at my clothing cupboard..a really old one.. It has a fully stuck sticker of underone roof cartoon characters. I didn't exactly like that show, but my dad bought it for me, rather randomly. I took it carefully and stuck it on the cupboard..without messing the order, exactly the way it came. It's now still on my cupboard. Looking at it, it just made me feel at least 10 years younger. I can't believe how much time has gone by, yet, I've been living a life without him.

I just think back. I seriously think, I would rather that he totally disappeared after they separated when I was 4. At least I won't have memories to dwell on. Bringing me out every sunday, almost, till I was 13...

13 years old..Dad disappeared. Gramps, went to heaven. 15 years old, granny disappeared too. But hey, I got to meet my gramp's mum before she left too...is that even a good thing. I remember the last thing she gave me was a 20dollars bird series note. She was 92, and like..crying and stuff, insisting that i take it.

You know what would make a man cry? It's something called love. I love my dad. And the reason why I hate you,cch, is cause I love my dad. I won't have it, you saying me being fatherless. I have a dad, and he's the reason I'm here. That's more than enough reason to love him.

I reckon no one would understand me. Really, no one. And why I am even more irritated, is cause my dad ain't in the best of health now. I can't see him, find out his condition and so on. But from the symptoms I heard, I dun think he'll be around for much longer. Thanks for the compliment..cch..yup, i might just very well be "fatherless" soon=)..

2007-08-11T03:03:00.000+08:00

Omg..I used the shower to flush a small lizard down the sink...-.-..only 3 things can happen. 1, the lizard crawls back up. 2, the lizard is gone forever. 3, the lizard will get sucked up for choking the sink one day, or at least the skeleton will.................

nothing to say. Been so tired and sick for the past MONTHS. OMG. HATE this man. And a particular c&c&h is getting rather annoying, which has been increasing with an alarming rate.

I finally got hold of final fantasy 8=D. Dumb thing is that i gotta write the files into the disc before i can play it-.-. Virtual drives don't work.

Havent heard much from someone. Hope you're doing alright. Shan't go music clinic later. Rather sick and also gotta finish up the freaken project....TALKING ABOUT PROJECT, screw it man, i gotta present twice while others only present once. God Damned it. One to the school, one to the bloody company. Can i just plant a C4 at their headquarters-.-?

Hiring> any cch who can carry C4 and run and destroy that company for me? payment will be done in the afterlife=P.

I don't know why, but certain people of the past has occasionally popped up in my mind. Do i not know my feelings? Or do i think back and feel how not having them has made me happy to know you today. But I do know, I miss you. And you don't really seem to care about me either ways.

IMY,ILY.

2007-08-08T19:56:00.000+08:00

This is a great story!

A Simple Story of True Love and True Care

I was born in a secluded village on a mountain. Day by day, my parents plowed the yellow dry soil with their backs towards the sky.
I have a brother who is 3 years younger than me. I wanted to buy a handkerchief, which all girls around me seemed to have. So, one day I stole 50 cents from my father's drawer. Father had discovered about the stolen money right away.

He made me and my younger brother kneel against the wall as he held a bamboo stick in his hand. "Who stole the money?" he asked. I was stunned, too afraid to talk. Neither of us admitted to the fault, so he said, "Fine, if nobody wants to admit, you two should be beaten!"

He lifted up the bamboo stick. Suddenly, my younger brother gripped father's hand and said," Dad, I was the one who did it!" The long stick smacked my brother's back repeatedly. Father was so angry that he kept on whipping my brother until he lost his breath. After that, he sat down on our stone bed and scolded my brother, "You have learned to steal from your own house now. What other embarrassing things will you be possibly doing in the future? You should be beaten to death, you shameless thief!"

That night, my mother and I hugged my brother. His body was full of wounds from the beating but he never shed a single tear. In the middle of the night, all of sudden, I cried out loudly. My brother covered my mouth with his little hand and said, " Sis, now don't cry anymore. Everything has happened."

I still hate myself for not having enough courage to admit what I did. Years gone by, but the incident still seemed like it just happened yesterday. I will never forget my brother's expression when he protected me. That year, my brother was 8 years old and I was 11 years old. When my brother was in his last year of secondary school, he was accepted in an upper secondary school in the central. At the same time, I was accepted into a university in the province.

That night, father squatted in the yard, smoking, packet by packet.I could hear him ask my mother, "Both of our children, they have good results? very good results?" Mother wiped off her tears and sighed," What is the use? How can we possibly finance both of them?" At that time, my brother walked out, he stood in front of father and said,"Dad, I don't want to continue my study anymore, I have read enough books." Father swung his hand and slapped my brother on his face. "Why do you have a spirit so damn weak? Even if it means I have to beg for money on the streets, I will send you two to school until you have both finished your study!"

And then, he started to knock on every house in the village to borrow money. I stuck out my hand as gently as I can to my brother's swollen face, and told him, "A boy has to continue his study; If not, he will not be able to overcome this poverty we are experiencing." I, on the other hand, had decided not to further my study at the university. Nobody knew that on the next day, before dawn, my brother left the house with a few pieces of worn-out clothes and a few dry beans. He sneaked to my side of the bed and left a note on my pillow; "Sis, getting into a university is not easy. I will go find a job and I will send money to you."

I held the note while sitting on my bed, and cried until I lost my voice. That year, my brother was 17 years old; I was 20 years old. With the money father borrowed from the whole village, and the money my brother earned from carrying cement on his back at a construction site,finally, I managed to get to the third year of my study in the university. One day, while I was studying in my room, my roommate came in and told me,"There's a villager waiting for you outside!" Why would there be a villager looking for me? I walked out, and I saw my brother from afar. His whole body was covered with dirt, dust, cement and sand.

I asked him, "Why did you not tell my roommate that you are my brother?" He replied with a smile," Look at my appearance. What will they think if they would know that I am your brother? Won't they laugh at you?" I felt so touched, and tears filled my eyes. I swept away dirt and dust from my brother's body. And told him with a lump in my throat, " I don't care what people would say! You are my brother no matter what your appearance is?"

From his pocket, he took out a butterfly hair clip. He put it on my hair and said, "I saw all the girls in town are wearing it. So, I think you should also have one." I could not hold back myself anymore. I pulled my brother into my arms and cried. That year, my brother was 20 years old; I was 23 years old. I noticed that the broken window was repaired the first time I brought my boyfriend home. The house was scrubbed cleaned. After my boyfriend left, I danced like a little girl in front of my mother, "Mom, you didn't have to spend so much time cleaning the house!"

But she told me with a smile," It was your brother who went home early to clean the house. Didn't you see the wound on his hand? He hurt his hand while he was replacing the window." I went into my brother's bedroom. Looking at his thin face, I felt like there are hundreds of needle pricked in my heart.

I applied some ointment on his wound and put a bandage on it, "Does it hurt? " I asked him. "No, it doesn't hurt. You know, when at the construction site, stones keep falling on my feet . Even that could not stop me from working." In the middle of the sentence, he stopped. I turned my back on him and tears rolled down my face. That year, my brother was 23 years old; I was 26 years old.

After I got married, I lived in the city. Many times my husband invited my parents to come and live with us, but they didn't want. They said, once they left the village,they wouldn't know what to do. My brother agreed with them. He said, "Sis, you just take care of your parents-in-law. I will take care of mom and dad here." My husband became the director of his factory. We asked my brother to accept the offer of being the manager in the maintenance department. But my brother rejected the offer. He insisted on working as a repairman instead for a start.

One day, my brother was on the top of a ladder repairing a cable, when he got electrocuted, and was sent to the hospital. My husband and I visited him at the hospital. Looking at the white gypsum on his leg, I grumbled, "Why did you reject the offer of being a manager? Managers won't do something dangerous like that. Now look at you, You are suffering a serious injury. Why didn't you just listen to us?" With a serious expression on his face, he defended his decision, "Think of brother-in-law. He just became the director, and I being uneducated, and would become a manager, what kind of rumors would fly around?" My husband's eyes filled up with tears, and then I said, "But you lack in education only because of me!" "Why do you talk about the past?" he said and then he held my hand. That year, he was 26 years old and I was 29 years old. My brother was 30 years old when he married a farmer girl from the village. During the wedding reception, the master of ceremonies asked him, "Who is the one person you respect and love the most?"

Without even taking a time to think, he answered," My sister." He continued by telling a story I could not even remember. "When I was in primary school, the school was in a different village. Everyday, my sister and I would walk for 2 hours to school and back home. One day, I lost the other pair of my gloves. My sister gave me one of hers. She wore only one glove and she had to walk far. When we got home, her hands were trembling because of the cold weather that she could not even hold her chopsticks. From that day on, I swore that as long as I live, I would take care of my sister and will always be good to her."

Applause filled up the room. All guests turned their attention to me. I found it hard to speak, "In my whole life, the one I would like to thank most is my brother," And in this happy occasion,in front of the crowd, tears were rolling down my face again. Love and care for the one you love every single days of your life. You may think what you did is just a small deed, but to that someone, it may mean a lot.

2007-08-05T20:21:00.001+08:00

Perhaps I had been thinking too much..She's probably down with pharyngitis..thus the fever leading to headache..Take care..

Hope you'll be alright..

ILY.

2007-08-05T15:14:00.000+08:00

Hope it wasn't too lame Jessie, using laptop at void deck=/..

Whole night full of nightmares,one after another. Is something bad really going to happen? Or am I thinking too much? Patience..We all have our lives to live and time isn't exactly on our side..Just that my time to be extremely busy is just round the corner.

my current favorite song,不能说的秘密-周杰伦

冷咖啡离开了杯垫
我忍住的情绪在很后面
拼命想挽回的从前
在我脸上依旧清晰可见

最美的不是下雨天
是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐(oh~~)
回忆的画面
在荡着秋千梦开始不甜

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
又何必去改变已错过的时间
你用你的指尖阻止我说再见
想象你在身边在完全失去之前

你说把爱渐渐放下会走更远
或许命运的签只让我们遇见
只让我们相恋这一季的秋天
飘落后才发现这幸福的碎片
要我怎么捡

And this song is for her..

我一直都想对你说
你给我想不到的快乐像绿洲给了沙漠
说你会永远陪着我
做我的根我翅膀让我飞也有回去的窝
我愿意我也可以付出一切也不会可惜
就在一起看时间流逝要记得我们相爱的方式
就是爱你爱着你有悲有喜有你平淡也有了意义
就是爱你爱着你甜蜜又安心那种感觉就是你
我一直都想对你说
你给我想不到的快乐像绿洲给了沙漠
说你会永远陪着我
做我的根我翅膀让我飞也有回去的窝
我愿意真的愿意付出所有也要保护你
oh 在一起时间继续流逝请记得我有多么的爱你
oh 就是爱你爱着你不弃不离开不在意一路有多少风雨
就是爱你爱着你放在你手心灿烂的幸福全给你
oh 就是爱你爱着你我都愿意
就是爱你爱着你要我们在一起

ILY.

2007-08-04T01:36:00.001+08:00

You know, we first met in the music classroom. Something I do and love, whilst at it, I met you. I wish you'd know how precious it meant to me. I wish you'd know how I really feel. What do you think about me? Do you think of me?

You're amazing..
so amazing..
have i told you
enough
you're my angel
my guardian angel
darling i've
i've been blessed with love

But if i be gone tomorrow
Would you know how deep my love goes
Have i ever told you
You're the one

If the words don't come my way
I hope you still know
I hope it still shows
If the words don't come my way
I hope you still know
What my heart wants to say

ILY.

2007-08-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

I await the day you'd hold my hand, call me yours and walk through this life together, caring and watching out for each other, and picking each other up when we fall <3

I'm falling sick, or maybe I am. Had diarrhoea like hell yesterday, woke up early from it.Gah. And horoscope said i would have a long morning..indeed-.-

Now am having this damned nose dripping and sneezing like a tap. Can someone call the plumber!?...-.-..

-I wanna know you more, be there for you when you need me, if you ever need me. I'd run to the other end of the world just to make sure you're safe and keep you away from harm. I want to be the one to care for you like i always do. And for some reason, I knew I loved you before I met you-

The day I first saw you
Had a feeling I've known you

We talked for the first time
on the day we also first sang together
What really captivated me at that time
Was your stunning beauty altogether

Your smile portrayed serenity
Your eyes connected with mine
Stare if i may
How I wish now, you are mine

Letting me send you home makes me amazed
But let me tell you, it puts a smile on my face
Time stops when I look into your eyes
It makes it even harder for saying goodbyes

All I can say now is
That I hate time
For all these lonesome thoughts about you,
Exist all the time

I'd admit you're always on my mind
But would you care?would you mind?
Or would you even bother?
Or just think of me as a bother?

Do you know my true feelings?
Or even all of my doings
You seem to be rather oblivious
To whatever I have been doing which are really obvious.

All I can do now
Is dream for that someday
when you'd call me yours
and tell me you love me,everyday

I wish we'd never part each other's company
for I want to spend more time with you, surely
Coming clean with you sure is hard to do
but I really know, I love you

What has happened to me
name it if i might
Surely it would be
love at first sight

*Did you know..The very first time we sang together, you challenged me to sing the song I had a phobia on, you really made me feel comfortable. I want you to know...it wasn't a cheeky remark, cause I really meant it.*

2007-07-31T01:59:00.000+08:00

I am sooooooooo in love with the movie SECRET! Directed by Jay chou! AKA "不能说的秘密"...AND THE SONG!=D

The show is really great, "We" really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed the whole evening=)..Hope there'll be a next time=D..

The show is cute,sweet,touching,funny,anticipation-arousing, thrilling, fantasy-like, romantic, totally unexpected, very original, and definitely a movie you will always remember!

So glad i got the tickets to watch the preview=)..Felt like one of the best evening I ever had

Talked a bit about my dreams of being a performer and artist...i'm not very sure but I think Peter laoshi sees my desire..my passion..That's why he's always disappointed when I get uneasy on stage. I have to try very hard..It's something I really want, I dream of. I'm actually born a rather shy person, gotta leap over that barrier.

I hope the next time we meet will be soon. I miss that smile on your face already.

Sorry to make you go back so late! Dun worry about me not having a train back or smth...I made it back home somehow or another=P. Yup, like I said, I asked you out, So I have the responsibility to make sure you get home safely. If something happened to you, I could never forgive myself, let alone answer to your parents=). Responsibility is very important in my morals=).

And yes, the fact that i met you, makes me happy. And like i said, this "secret"..is worth a thousand words ;)..

2007-07-18T12:29:00.000+08:00

oh man...napfa later...si liao=/..haha

meeting theo! so long never meet up le=D

Now having sore eye, left one..wonder what went in-.-"

lesson learnt this morning; sneezing makes your aiming go bad, ESPECIALLY WHEN PEEING! XD =X

2007-07-15T21:26:00.000+08:00

So have you ever wondered how clean are you? Or desire to make yourself even cleaner than you are?

There are like some places on your body that you would hardly clean!

like..so...where are they?

One of the most..visible, yet neglected place that most people dun clean, is the..BELLY BUTTON! Dig ur finger into ur belly button and take a whiff! oh no..heh=X

So be sure next time you are having your shower, dun overlook that spot!

Now, we all have annoying places where we don't really clean, and that includes the ear!Water gets in, takes like forever to evaporate. The area around the ear, within the contours inside is hardly cleaned by most!

And I'll add just one more place. How many of you(readers)know that your tongue is a bacteria spongue, raise your hand.Ok i wouldn't be able to see it, but, you know yourself=D.

Yes! Why brush your teeth, when your tongue is holding like 70% of the bacteria in your mouth! I am not telling you to NOT brush your teeth, but just that, If u wanna rid bad breadth, there's no point in brushing your teeth if you don't clean your tongue! I can tell u a way to know how bad ur mouth smell thanks to your tongue, but i'll spare you the fainting=/

Yes, All you french kissers, or those who converse a lot..or closely to people face to face...CLEAN YOUR TONGUE! it's like, just get a scraper. Nowadays they sell it in cool colours and plastic form, really good=D. Older ones are an arc shape with rubber on both ends for grip. BOth are great to use and use them daily would ensure you much nicer smelling breaths! skip those breath sprays, and even mouth wash dun clean your tongue thoroughly=P.

And final note to all readers, THIS IS NOT A COLGATE ADVERTISEMENT=/ LOL

2007-07-13T21:30:00.000+08:00

Hai nothing much to blog...not really the kinda person who writes what i do..

Hmm..had a haircut on tuesday..Practically didnt shorten my hair at all=P

Been slacking at home since tuesday.Tuesday was like...a real piss off, cause of a certain someone >.<..

Thanks brad for accompanying me so many days this week=D

And jessie too!

though 2 hours of staring at nothing isn't fun at all...damn..

i wanna be a cch, like no one ever was,
to catch fish is my real task
to fry them is my cause

pokehong,gotta fry them all
our sauces so true
i would never use fake sauces!
Pokehong, ohhhh, you're my best bet
extracting your flavour~

pikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
pikaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
HONG

=/

2007-07-02T03:26:00.000+08:00

Rough weekend, in a fun way=)

Sat went to music class as usual...argh! late again!Am I? Lol. Timewise, late again, first one there, still considered late? wakakak

Anyway had Lynn lao shi for lesson again!=D Had one to one with her for a short while and then Allan came in. Did lip thrills again and then huili and pearlene came. Was like woah..how long never see them le. Miss them wor. ahaa..Anyway huili and pearlene jia you for thrilling ur lips..whatever you call that!=D

Class ended after we sang Dang ni gu dan ni hui xiang qi shui..haha..

Hanged around for a while and then infiltrated Lynn's next class..Ahaha..Went in to hear Johnny and Jacinth sing haha, about half the class not there, no Teri and Eileen.

Was always curious how Johnny sang, cause he has a rather unique appearance and looked around 40-50 years old. Being a new comer he was rather alright, and had a mysterious sincerity to his singing. Jacinth was soft and paiseh=/

Anyway, Johnny shared about his divorce with his wife and him still being her best friend. We ( me and Jacinth) didnt really know what to feel i guess. Anyway, he also mentioned he heard me sing an jing from outside my class before. He said i sounded nice and asked me take part in some competition. This made me really surprised and i gave him a reply saying " wo mei you ben shi" -.-..It was then that i asked both for their names..lol

However, it made me think. Anyway i sang for a hella long time and analysed and really put my efforts into making myself sing better. I want to do the best I can.

Samuel called me..And i picked up and continued " ni yao wo shuo duo nan kan!" "yes hello", " wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai!" "yes i am in music school now"..

LOL..Super funny..sing and talk at same time.

Finally left music school around 8:45pm...that means...i was there since 2:15pm..6.5hours in music school...shiok ar-.-.

Went to Paya Lebar meet CG, bought mac for dinner, nuggets with no sauce-.-..Then hong was like, hey sam, go to NTUC buy drink. You go NTUC first i go toilet. Then sam and me nth to say. hAha..

hong is hong man..=/

And sunday, went church, after meeting brad and sam late, cause my alarm clock a.k.a. HP was under my bed.

Ate at british take away..And the guy asked for a name from samuel and me for our order. And samuel was thinking of a name when i...."Choon hong!". The guy was like.."Choon hong?alright."

we laughed like hell man. Brad came over to order the same thing. And he went"Wai Peng". Oh my goodness. the funniest part was when we collect food, the guy called out choonhong and waipeng. oH my GoD that was damn damned funny.

Anyway as we all know, hong is a born sway kia. Using his parents name somehow made our order to take extremely long to come. Moral of the story, Do not order under choonhong and waipeng=/. ROFL.

And I went, hey, next time ask jessie come, ask her say "Sally". And i continued,"then who be jenson-.-" =/

BG info (sally=cousin, jenson=brother)

Got root beer from 7 eleven for drinks and ate away..YUM.

Service was great, impacted me in some way.

Went home after service and talked to Lynn laoshi online. And partly made me want to blog this entry.

she told me, she asked her class why they joined singing, out of passion or leisure? And Johnny gave an answer that wasn't totally expected. He said" I have cancer for 6 years, I wanna do what I can now". When I heard this, I was really saddened.

He's learning singing now at such an age. And his cause, was to do what he can before he goes. It was something that really hits people in their hearts. And he is still happy and comfortable about telling people his plight.

This made me think, just before i wrote this entry. He told me i sounded nice, and i should take part in some competition. Did he indirectly mean, he saw that I had a dream, and hoped that I will take that dream to reality, and make myself proud, as well as him, in place for him as his time is really limited already. It broke my heart thinking about this.

Despite his really some old ah beng look, he really had a heartful personality, which can be realised just by talking to him, and how he handshoke me.

It made me think further. I sounded nice to him, and wanted me to take my dream further. He had FAITH IN ME. A STRANGER! WHO JUST SAT OUTSIDE A DOOR, HEARD ME AND THAT'S ALL HE NEEDED TO HAVE THAT FAITH IN ME. what about all my friends, and everyone who had faith in me. If a stranger had faith in me singing, then how much would my friend's faiths weigh? even more! I just felt..useless for not being able to pick up, not being able to trust myself, believe in myself. Even though so many people believe in me, even a stranger. I just dun understand why i cant do so yet. To buck up, to do well, and to sing well. to have that confidence. I am really blessed to have people believing in me.

Another thought occured to me..He talked about his wife, ex wife. He gave a smile of paiseh, when he said he gonna pei her later after his class, which made me wonder if i should feel touched or sad. He's learning singing...now..Why? Is he gonna sing a farewell song to her, who probably is still his special someone. like some final song before he goes, so that he'll leave happy knowing he did something he wanted to do, to train and sing a good song to her, with whatever time he has left..

It's so saddening..everything..

I told Lynn lao shi, "hey, i dun think i have to ask and i already know the answer. I should start believing in myself, even after so many people believeing in me, even Johnny................."

If I ever make it successful, as a singer, one of the person on my list of gratitude...

-Johnny-

Thank you for believing in me and making me realise so many things.

I will take things to a new level as far as what i love to do goes...

Working really hard,

Daniel-

2007-06-27T15:16:00.000+08:00

didn't really sleep last nite..might not have the money to go for classes anymore soon..

life's..really sad..heh..

-Daniel-

2007-06-25T00:17:00.000+08:00

-A1 - One More Try-
Could be your eyes,
Could be your smile,
Could be the way you freed my mind
Your precious touch caressed my soul,
You gave me everything I need,
And now Im lost,
Lost forever,

Lost forever,
And you said this is going nowhere, girl
And you said I turned my back on,
You said Im not the only one for you

Chorus
Please give it one more try for the sake of our love
Lets give it one more chance cause I cant give you up
I cant live one more day without you in my arms
I could never find another like you

Could be the lies,
Could be my pride
Could be the days and nights so wild
Could be the times I wasnt there
And all the nights we didnt share
And now youre lost,
Lost forever

Lost forever
And you said this is going nowhere, girl
And you said I turned my back on
You said Im not the only one for you

Repeat chorus

I cant sleep, I cant live without you by my side
So cold, so lost without you as my guide
You made me realise Im nothing,
Nothing without you

2007-06-24T22:33:00.000+08:00

It hurts more to not know about something, rather than be jealous by seeing it urself. I guess you perhaps do go out with guys, but it's your life now..I guess..

you rejected blatantly help i offered for schoolwork..guess you'd rather ask some other guy..like u always did..=)..

2007-06-24T14:44:00.001+08:00

I dreamt you came back, but woke up finding u were gone

Rather pissing offffffffffffff...some chua choon hong call me by instruction of someoene o.O...so ingenuine..heh..

Who are you now
Are you still the same
Or did you change somehow
What do you do
At this very moment when I think of you

And when I'm looking back
How we were young and stupid
Do you remember that

No matter how I fight it, can't deny it
Just can't let you go

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

Now look at me
Instead of moving on, not refuse to see
That I keep coming back
yeah, I'm stuck in a moment
That wasn't meant to last

I've tried to fight it, can't deny it
You don't even know that

I still need you
I still care about you
Though everything's been said and done
I still feel you like I'm right beside you
But still no word from you

No, No...
I wish I could find you
Just like you found me, that I
Would never let you go

(need you, care about you)
Though everything's been said and done, yeah
I still feel you (I still feel you)
like I'm right beside you (Like I'm right here beside you)

But still no word from you

-Daniel-

2007-06-24T01:10:00.000+08:00

I miss you..and you know who u are=(..schnappi..

Today I went for music class..Kinda late..And what happened? Only me and joel came..OMG..

Had Lynn teaching us and found out she actually took lessons in NY last time for 200USD for 1.5hrs. oh goodness

And I felt her lesson today did make an impact.

After her class, continued singing and realised even more mistakes. The fear for my own voice came with..NASAL VOICE! when i go high, my nasal voice becomes too obvious. And it's rather..Sharp sounding. Now i know why i felt my singing's rather sharp, other than my singing tone. Another thing was, i sang using the wrong place. And finally, someting i cant believe i actually diagnosed..I actually had problems breathing out so i couldnt breathe in back proficiently.

HAd singing like kbox session with jiajia and gwen. Did many songs in between and before them. Spent a lot of time in music school today trying to find out as many problems i had as possible.

And before my lesson, to my surprise, peter called me over. Lols. And then keely and javin were inside learning from him. Then he asked them, how they know me. LolX..

Anyway told peter about roughly wad happened at the birthday celebration and opening ceremony of music story, by fang zhong hua..including the splashing of champagne on his face..and kbox boss's visit.

Too bad didnt have time to talk to keely and javin. They left after their class heard they got exams. Sian..

Anyway when i saw javin, i dont know whether i wanted to smile or put a sad face. Smile, he may think i happy he got out or something.

hai..

What a day..

-Daniel-

2007-06-22T01:08:00.000+08:00

一路上有你
词:谢明训曲:片山圭司演唱:张学友
你知道吗爱你并不容易
还需要很多勇气
是天意吧好多话说不出去
就是怕你负担不起

你相信吗这一生遇见你
是上辈子我欠你
是天意吧让我爱上你
才又让你离我而去

也许轮回里早已注定
今生就该我还给你
一颗心在风雨里
飘来飘去都是为你

一路上有你苦一点也愿意
就算是为了分离与我相遇
一路上有你痛一点也愿意
就算这辈子注定要和你分离
就算是只能在梦里拥抱你

2007-06-21T22:13:00.000+08:00

-I dont mind you, but you mind yourself- =(

Woah..I just put my own fudge on my own ice cream..the feeling is great!..but the aftermath on throat not good feeling..diao.

argh.So boring at home.stone-ing rocks. Maybe I should relive the stone age- -"

Someone's telling me about phones...and yesterday i found out that the phone i eyed just came out. But na..i cant buy it. getting the keyboard as well as some other stuff out prioritise getting a new phone. Man..

I am still broke..Stupid ATM card waiting to be made, IC waiting to be collected.

I wan to perform !! argghhh!!=/

-Daniel-

2007-06-20T13:48:00.000+08:00

Just presented finish my presentation..was pretty surprised of my confidence level. Maybe singing in front of people does help even that. I guess.

I got my jacket back. Dun feel like washing it for some reason.

It's been how long...since barsolina..

reading what was in the bag, I feel empty. like my other half's left the world. Can you feel the love...tonight..? nope..i can't.

In solitude or not, I must write my own singing legacy. I have to continue what I started, do or die. I hope I wont fall along the way anymore.

I think my last pillar of strength is my singing. If it collapses, don't know what will happen to me. Sadness is beautiful, loneliness is tragic.

I want light in my life again. Where has my lighthouse gone..

searching..wondering..hoping..

living on a prayer,
hanging by a rope,
nothing but a failure,
I still wont give up hope.

My only promise, is i will do my best..

-Daniel-

2007-06-19T01:00:00.000+08:00

Today had to do some shit project thing to present on wednesday. So sucks. Went to meet some friends over at ps, they make me go back to bishan..sian..then after some arcading went to outram park, for fang zhong hua anthony's bdae and music story opening celebrations.

I machiam only one who went there from music clinic, super super left out. Then got once Fang zhong hua grabbed me for a photoshoot.

They had champagne popping and i popped out of the place and ran to meet sam at city hall to go amk to meet brad,hong and david.

Oh and Fang zhong hua actually popped the champagne cap or maybe just the wine into his face. His eyes got red. oh dear.

Really very sway day..haiz..when i got home, saw CSS2. Feel super sad and cried when i saw Javin go out. Though i knew him for hours only, i felt a fondness for him and really felt sad and disappointed for him. JJ went out too..double sway, cause i kinda know both of them.

And finally, a very last event made me crash down to earth with what i call, a shot to the heart. Sorry peeps, i'm really out of commission. Shouted too hard for red rain concert, shot too hard where it hurts most. I await my heart's revival, if it will ever come. Until then, it'll be hard to sing.

Oh and Jessie! have a safe trip and come back in one piece!

I need a long sleep. So i will dehydrate and all the sadness would just evaporate from my very being.Perhaps not waking up would be better still.

-Daniel- not falling into darkness, but being engulfed by it. And I thought for once, i would have light to shine into my little world, of dreams, and a simple life.

2007-06-18T12:49:00.000+08:00

Ok yesterday RedRain was cool. Lead guitarist was crazy especially. Jumped like mad and it was really hot. Regret wearing a long sleeve shirt there man.

Had lunch at J8 with sam,the cold chicken rice, just before going over to paya lebar. Had multiple games with andy on the PSP and we played Bleach.

After some suntec outing with the zone, went home on the train. Got home to found out that I really gotta F-ing finish my presentation and present it on 12:40pm this wednesday and I have not started at all. Not to mention this week is only week 3 when the presentation was said to be on week 4. Slap those damned assessors la. It's really rather last minute as I only found out about the presentation being on wednesday on friday, last week. How the heck can they do this to us! ROAR!

Anyway..I foresee more costs. How the heck do I buy something overseas. Argh, gonna cost a bomb. But I dont think I want to miss out on this particular product. Not to mention I have not bought my keyboard. If I buy both, i'd really overspend and be close to broke. =(

Life nowadays really so money necessary. The thing I want to buy is not a want, but to me it's a necessity. I hope I can get it and it would help me.

AND I STILL WANT MY KBOX EXPOSURE. SO LOOOONG never go=(..

Maybe I should really go try being a model and see if I can obtain some money for funding. Afterall that's partly one of my co-ambitions..

But no lobang!!

- -"

-Daniel-

2007-06-16T23:48:00.000+08:00

Woah...today bad day in the morning man! sTarted out having running nose and my aunt's joss-sticks just made it worse. Oh man. Started sneezing. Wore a little bit differently today as compared to usual. Bubbly~ look=/

Went over to music clinic, allan called me when i was at bishan lols. He take cab sia..zai..But end up i reach earlier..surprising.

Well..the lessons changed from Peter lao shi to Lynn today and we just had her on tues! for make up. And today 3 people never come for class.Not sure why, but anyways the lesson was extra productive as more time is given to us=D. And we did some touchy exercises=/ hey it's "diaphragm class" eh=/.

Breathe breathe breathe! 1232343454321 <-- the notes to learn lolx. Kinda simple with some practice=). as well as other lines, but lazy to list. Have to practice!!

Lynn made us sing an jing again.diao. and i sang elva's key -4. I can reach, quite easily, but..MY AIR NOT ENOUGH!! MUST TRAIN!Allan did -5 which is a key lower, was kinda envious of his deeper voice than mine, cause my voice's a bit jian(sharp). I think.

After class, chatted around with mei wei~( ok i write the "~" is cause the wei is the first sound, not fourth). Then also talked around with allan and i saw TERI! from campus superstar. Didnt know she takes lessons at the music clinic!

And to my surprise, I saw Zi jie, Javin and also Keely!( I didn't know Keely's name till i got home to check it up=X..sorry) Hanged around with them quite a while and felt they are good singers =). and my a while was really like..a couple of hours XD. They're really nice to be with.

Then ordered mac, mei wei~ did it, for peter, me and herself. She forget upsize for me=(..anyway I am broke. Then i actually sat in to watch, hear and comment a bit la, on how they sing..though i am not very good haha. They actually sang zhou jie lun and david tao, as well as XIN DONG!<--second song i learnt during my singing lessons.

They even asked me to join in to sing the "yi lu xiang bei". Super pai seh.and stress. Cause i'm singing with junior stars=/ haha. Zijie and keely got nice personality, and Javin got nice voice to me la. =)

It was really my pleasure to interact personally with these great people. strive on and do your best for the competition!

Which reminds me, Cindy, peter's manager, peaked into the room and gave me the "woah" look haha=/

And i got my Peter lao shi's album SIGNED at LAST!! Yay!!=) I finally found the CD inside my laptop disc tray-.- didnt know it's there. The most obvious place is always forgotten=/. And cause of this "cannot find the disc", i always never bring the album to let him sign, when I actually bought it on the first day it was released-.-"

Gotta train more! I cant give singing up! Just like what Peter wrote on the disc, " Specially for :Daniel, Thanks for your support! Keep on singing ya! Best wishes, Peter".

I will definitely strive for the best in this walk of training and interest. To me, I can almost consider singing a part of my life already. Not the kind u walk around and hum some tunes out. But those kind, where u really want to perform to the best of your ability and never stop striving to improve and be the next generation of amazing vocalists like zhang xue you, jacky cheung.

Love All who encouraged me, wont be a "loser" in singing! cAuse I will work HArd!

=)

Thanks all who have encouraged me, told me i have a nice vocal tone, Encouraged me, believed in me and most importantly, supported me ( ya lor someone hor, machiam dun support me de ( her name is je***eeee=/) haha=/ oops=X

Jia you to me! the best i can say to myself haha=X

-Daniel-

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2007-06-15T21:54:00.000+08:00

Think the honey's been hiding the fact that i got NASAL INFECTION!!ARRR!!!

hai..stupid postnasal drip, or dripping of phlegm from the nose to the throat..no wonder my voice has never been ok. DanG!

Such disappointing times nowadays..cant even reach so many songs..

Life's stagnating for some reason...........

-Daniel-

2007-06-14T21:55:00.000+08:00

hai someone scold me on the phone twice and then i purposely hang up, the person still don't know I not happy le. well..at least i hang up if not i might have shouted back sooner or later. Feel like being pushovered..nvm nvm...

Anyway..school really sucked. Go to the dumb company do stupid discussion..Then super sleepy in school..

and OH MY GOD, TING HAI is one damned hard song to deliver. My goodness..i dun think i can really reach it..argh..hai..maybe i will try again when my throat is better..

Bad throat again..

-Daniel- Unhappy

2007-06-13T00:52:00.001+08:00

Today's a great day=))..

Had Lynn, a new teacher teaching the diaphragm class today..Really helped a lot!..Will practice breathing de! And make sure my air goes to the right place! Funny la, ho,e,a lolx. Anyway sang An Jing again. So pathetic must sing using Elva's concert version. Wonder where has my disc with Jay's version gone to. Anyway, I found out today that the fear I always had, is fearing my very own voice. Fear is one bad emotion, but what promotes it to the worst it can be is fearing YOURSELF. hai..

I hope i can overcome this fear. I want to do what people can, and that is to perform. I know I am more than capable of it. Perhaps I need more trust and belief in myself. Trying really hard to xun zao(find).Hope it comes to me soon.

Anyway my voice is coming back..somewhat but still far from totally. Bought another BIG bottle of Pi Pa Kao=/

Really cool. I found out by asking Peter about my apprehensiveness towards the fear of my own voice, that he actually feared his own voice in the past! He told me to learn to love your own voice. I kinda think that's hard, but actually, slowly but surely, I am trying to appreciate it and am starting to do so. I realised many times I hear a disgusting quality of my own voice, is when i dun hold the mic close enough to my mouth. Shall try and take note of the multiple things I learnt, over the "almost a year" into this learning of singing thing. I am really glad i'm in this. I am starting to feel that i am going to realise my potential. And Lynn said I dun sound weird at all. Really comforting!..Perhaps I shud believe everyone who told me so far. Brad,Samuel, my ex ex, wendy, anthony fang zhong hua, irvine, peter lao shi, and a certain someone,let's do the song together one day.Maybe can even perform it=)..

As well as everyone who has believed in me, I thank you, I love you and I will not give up this dream of being that someone I wanna be. And i'll look forward to the day I give out concert tickets..=D..

<3

-Daniel-

P.S. Dreaming, aspiring and hoping to be, cause i dare to dream.

2007-06-09T23:45:00.000+08:00

Oh man...my blog seems to be written on a weekly basis, that's bad...argh...

ok..today had music class...Allan is like UBER black la...go overseas suntan until like that. Haha, then Mark and him keep arguing about Ma pi and Ah-lan=/.

Then mei wei she so poor thing kana scolded by someone. Ok la dun sad! The table is just fine for you^-^.

LoL...sway sia...after vocal scaling I was first to do vocal range testing cause my phone number is the smallest number- -" 8163XXXX.

wa sian just nice during scaling and vocal range testing, my throat suddenly a lot of phlegm. Low notes dun want to come out.hai anyway it's for personal knowing only la, so it's not like some recorded down information about me that will stick with me or something. I KNOW I CAN REACH MUCH HIGHER THAN THAT. Just wait till my voice is clearer=(.

Allan like so funny la, sing "do" ask "doooouuuuuUUU". haha, today's class was quite funny.

Hmm..Anyway, I still have yet to get used to using headvoice. Used it before, but cant really use it well=(

Oh and we made Peter lao shi shout out a "la" on the second octave! o.O SOLID MAN XD, the whole sound proof room "shoke".

someone's away to malaysia and going jap..hope she'll be fine and be back soon. misses..

Jessie!Come back soooooonnnnnnn!! slippers slippers=/they really look quite jialat..i very nice hor u promise dun suan me and the ice cream=D and dun hit me with the slippers or something...i wu gu zhe..

Hai...i still miss Liyang and Yang kuan..

Nicky!!hope u're doing well in bris! Kelvin too! Cant wait for you to be back in music clinic class!=B

Theo ar..jia you at AVA...at least got things to learn seh...not like meeeeee T___T...ok la i got learn some stuff but i thought it's kinda dumb=/...

Ming Yue, mai sad...I'm sure things will get better, somehow or another=)...I am still ur guai sun......eh....I AM OLDER THAN YOU-__-...where's my ego boosters gone to!?=/..hai...i need my voice, not ego boosters=/

Something in music class impacted me today! I hope I will remember it and let it serve as a motivation! Shall not write here and be selfish wahaha=/..oops..ok it's just some mental challenge thing, nothing much ;)

Which reminds me...the shit at your door thing..I still haven cleared it up..i guess i let it spread too much now i have even more problems. Hai..I hope i find the answers soon, or i pick up and believe in myself. which reminds me,you cant deliver a song till u believe in yourself first. What an important line.Hai.

I still dream to open that concert...with me hosting,singing, dancing, playing an instrument maybe the piano or guitar. And songs done in English, Chinese and Japanese. If only I could pick up and believe in myself and do what i really wanna do. I really hope to be able to accomplish these. Stood on the stage of the new HoG..the view over the perhaps thousand seats. Made me tremble in thought when I tried to imagine the audience in full strength, with me being the artist performing on stage. The idea, the thought of it, the glimpse of it, I hope it'll be reality one day. When I really can do something to show what I really love to do.

I need my damned keyboard...

-Daniel-

2007-06-03T22:36:00.000+08:00

my blog always rots=/

wahaha..

eh...think i nearly got another throat infection AGAIN..and now seems like my nose is stuffy and clogged up almost everyday...cant go high notes anymore T.T

ARGH!!!

man..sometimes i wonder why some people who really cant do things, just want to do things cause it's like..."trend" then go follow...then do things super kns still dare to lecture me...walao..pang sai sia..

stupid la...cant stand morons like that...wonder where that fat ego comes from man..perhaps from gals he likes to..talk to i guess..-.-

GOOD LUCK IMPROVING..i dun see any improvement yet i guess..but well, i seriously dun like people who do things out of fame or trend and not passion..zz..just trying to mock and disgrace my own passion in a very indirect way..

NEW SHAMPOO!!lols, the smell lasts on my head for more than 12 hours and i can still smell it o.O

cool~

I just want to be able to do what i want...Nothing is more torturing than a really bad throat, or bad place or loss of voice..I'd probably just die..=(

I'll place all my money in it just to make my throat at the best condition and consistently..

I miss many ppl...still...

liyang, yang kuan...someone here and there..jessie,bradford..samuel tan, and so much more..

oh no stomach ache again!

must be diarrhoea T.T...this kinda feeling..

i'll blog again soon. Friday marked the end of my attachment, monday marks the start of my FYP term AND YAY!!! GOOD OL SCHOOL FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fuck friday man, that bitch supervisor made me tear and so on...ccb...still dare to say she gave me "not low marks".

knnccb..go fark off and die...to think i made extra notes and cards for you..go to hell man..still dare to say " i dun wan to affect your future so much"

yea right like fucking hell you would.

Just screw off, faint and die on the road being run over by a bulldozer that the driver is so stupid that he couldnt even see you.I'd paint u black to match the road for this operation to succeed cause not only have u made me lost my respect for you for doing so much and giving me so little marks, the worst part is that you graded me based on ur own fucked up perception and things. E.g. attitude- willingness to learn. You think i fucking wanna learn from you when u dun seem to be really sure about your own damn things? I ask the other fucking chemists, not you. Go ask them if i really did ask them.

The main point is, the other chemist actually disagrees with your damned grading. And i interact the LEAST with you, fucking dumbass. How can u fucking grade me when u dun even ask the other chemist's opinions? Are you just some ccb, do you know how fucking heavy the grades weigh?

Sigh..If i not willing to learn, would i have written a 1.5page report on just how to use a machine? Giving me a 3/5 for knowledge are you saying i am fucking stupid? I know a lot more than you and i do things less kan jiong and more composed than you. Give me 3/5 for quality, are you saying the results i produce are not accurate and they should be retested personally by urself to see if it's accurate? I DUN SEE YOU DOING THAT. just go hell will ya...giving me 18/30, when the other chemist actually would have given me 28/30 he said. I admit, doing work for you is totally fruitless cause ur VERY UNSUCCULENT BOOBS ARE JUST SO SAGGY THAT U SHUD JUST CHOP THE HELL OUT OF THEM AND GO AND DIE.

You are my number one most unrespected chemist IN THE WHOLE COMPANY. I am complaining about the marks and gonna get my lecturer to talk to the other chemist.

-Daniel-